Getting Better Every Day

Waiting on some very good news

2011-08-10T10:41:00.000-07:00

So we're at work hoping the days runs by a little faster because I'm expecting some very big news today. I can really say what it is, but I can say that it can change EVERYTHING for the better. More visibility, more sales, more publicity, more money. Hooray! If this goes as I expect, I will be very grateful that I stuck around and through everything and it will totally have been worth it.

If this deal does not happen, I'll just know that something even better is on its way.

Where I've been

2011-05-18T17:13:00.000-07:00

So today I saw a post on facebook about what states I've been to. I tried to click on all of them, but it was taking to long because of some script that was running...blah blah blah. I've been quite a few states before, but didn't realize I'd been to so many until I started clicking. I found this interactive map that lets you click on where you've been.

On a side note, I found it was funny that someone listed Mexico as a state.

This application is created by interactive maps.
You can also have your visited states map on your site.

If you see this message, you need to upgrade your flash player.

Make your visited states map

HTML5 charts

DanceDance by NTUIT

2010-10-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

This is my friend Monika (who is probably one of the nicest, sweetest, positive attitude-possessing individual you will ever meet) in her music group NTUIT. I heard the song a while back, but now they have a video. Ooooh....SHE FIERCE! It's a great dance tune. POPLAB, are you listening? The song is called DanceDance.

That's how it works!

2010-10-11T10:47:00.000-07:00

I've always wondered how bidets work. Today, I was reading towleroad.com and came across this vid. Don't burn it!

Jesus is punishing me

2010-08-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

Jesus is mad at me for something I did, otherwise I wouldn't have come across this video. It's like the Japanese Village People, except they all wear one outfit and pretend to be straight.

And someone is going to die if I spend the rest of my day saying "Yatta!"

This love crap

2010-07-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been really been thinking of a temporary end to being single, maybe even a permanent one. Dating is a such a pain in the butt, though. I remember watching these movies that are now being shown on Logo and thinking to myself, "Ugh, people aren't like that in real life." Now, I'm in my 30's and watching some of these movies about single guys (usually in LA) are starting to resonate with me. Well, except for the part about everyone being really thin or muscular and very attractive, oh and the part about all the guys always having sex with hot guys. Ok, so that last part is a lie, I just threw that in because I knew some of you would say, "Isn't he supposed to be a Christian?" If you did, thanks for keeping me on point, unless of course you were thinking that because you're judgemental. Bitch.

Anyway, I was always annoyed by this really mousy guy who has all these friends who are whores (I've been there, not so much anymore). Well, I used to be one of those skanks, but not anymore. Maybe that's part of the problem. In all reality, the problem is I'm a fat guy who doesn't date fat guys. I know, some of you think that it's stupid, but hey preference is preference and there ARE guys out there who do like someone with a little meat on their bones. Aside from that I like to think that I'm fairly intelligent, very funny, a good listener and not always full of crap. But for some of the people I would be interested in, that isn't enough. I need to be wealthy, have an expensive car, travel all the time, be famous, have certain part that resembles a donkey.

I guess the great thing about guys like that is that they're easy to weed out, well if they're honest, they are. I guess therein lies the real problem. Too many guys lie about things. "Oh, that's not a problem, they say," only to find out a week later it was a SERIOUS problem. Or, "I look at the person", only to find out when they say the person, they mean the externals. I guess I really can't hate them for it. Sometimes you have to try something new and if you don't like it, you now know.

I guess most important thing to learn about all this is that all this stuff is that I should be mindful about doing stuff like that to other people. I also need to keep in mind that gay can be flighty queen, and so can EVERYONE else.

Give poor kids crayons!

2010-07-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

Today I found out that a friend knows someone who teaches in the Balsz School District in Phoenix. She says the kids at the school are very poor and they have trouble even putting food on the table. [Insert my bleeding heart liberal socialist stuff here]
Ok, I'm not asking you to do anything major (although it would be major to these kids), but Fry's has crayons on sale for $.50 (fifty cents) a pack with a limit of six. If you could buy up to six packs of crayons, I'll figure out a way for you to get them to me I will make sure they make it to these kids.

You can message me via facebook if you like to let me know you have some that need to get to me. Maybe I can work something out with one a business in Phoenix to drop them off or something.

See, that was easy!

The guy from the date

2010-06-28T16:44:00.000-07:00

The guy I went on the date with turned out to be a flake. I don't know that he was avoiding me, but really, how hard is it to say, "Thank you for paying for dinner" (he did get the tip),"but I don't feel as though...." I figured I would do him the favor of not having to tell me when I would see him again by deleting his phone number from my phone and our text messages.

Enough about that. I was feeling pretty down about this and my best friend Gary, I'm sure could see it, picked me up so that we could watch HBO at his house. He wanted to go for a walk afterward because he ate a lot of food earlier. Here is what happened while we were out on our walk.

Random Thought

2010-06-09T11:44:00.001-07:00

I hate carnations.

Thank you.

I had a date

2010-06-09T11:42:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a date with a guy. I'm finding I'm very attracted to this guy. He doesn't share my faith, but he does share my disdain of trying to find someone I really like. He's not big in to all the early dating BS and I really like that. There is not "game," it's all very straighforward.

I like him a lot.

Great Observations

2010-06-03T09:27:00.000-07:00

"It's interesting when the Religious Right claims we were founded as a "Christian Nation" when trying to push their intolerant agenda, because while most (if not all) of the Founding Fathers where christians, they were also painfully aware of the power of religious intolerance and corrupting power of religion combined with politics, and took pains to separate the two."
Will Coucheron-Aamot

DISBITCHFIERCE!

2010-05-28T11:48:00.001-07:00

All right, I love me some Tammie Brown and Jackie Hell, but if you threw that shtuff in a blender and spit it out, you'd have this queen who is CUN-T!!!!

Hat tip to popnography.com

Been a while again

2010-05-27T12:20:00.001-07:00

I'm blogging by accident today. I meant to post a poll on the COMPETE blog, but ended up logging into my own blog. Oops.

I deleted but figured since I'm here, I should probably post something so that's what I'm doing.

Since the beginning of the year I've finished most of my court-ordered classes
I've finished my Bachelor's Degree
I've lost about 40 pounds
I've preached the main service at my church
and that's just the start.

I'm planning to start working on a cover-type act with my friend Danny and working on writing some stuff with my cousin Nicholas.

I AM getting stuff done this year. I HAVE turned my life around and things are just getting better.

Wait until I lose another 30 pounds.

I know, I'm a total buttface

2010-05-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

Well, at this point it may appear I have abandoned my blog, but that's totally not the case. Going to seminary takes up the time guess I normally would have spent on this. But it's all good. I'm still learning alot and trying to get my taxonomies finished. I'm supposed to preach on Youth Sunday at my church. When I first found out about it, I was excited and thought it was such a long time away, but we're down to a week and a half away. I REALLY gotta get my stuff together for it VERY soon.

Oh, I'm doing fairly well with my weight loss. I'm down about 35 pounds since the beginning of the year. I feel so much better about myself. The only issue I still have is the more weight I lose, the more I realize I have to keep going. I've decided I'm going to do two more rounds of HCG. I know it is kind of expensive, but I stay out of trouble when I'm on it and if get myself used to not getting into trouble, then that's a plus, right? I would totally end up spending the money on other stuff, anyway. I'd rather get something good out of it. Depending on how much weight I lose, after the next two, I may even go for a third. We'll see.

Another Reason to Advertise in COMPETE

2010-04-09T15:15:00.001-07:00

88% of Americans report that they have not cut anything out of their fitness budget because of the poor economy. - Everyday Health/ACE Research Study

Oh, Lord...

2010-03-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

I know it's a been a while. Ooops.

On the bright side, I'm done with my house arrest from my DUI. Unfortunately, I'm not hearing from people as often as I used to. Well, not now that I can't drive to where they are. I guess it was a good way to find out who were good friends. Well, I guess I'm not complaining about ALL my friends that didn't see me, but there are people who I was sure would have at least paid me ONE visit in three and a half months. Some did make plans to come and hang out, but I just didn't get it staightened with them and that was my own fault and I don't lay any blame on them. On the other hand, I did find out that some of my friends could really be counted on and I am REALLY grateful for them. I'm also grateful to have found out that there are quite a few people at my church who could be counted on, as well. So to all my friends, thank you. Even if you didn't come and see me. I glad to have had you for a friend at all, even if you've never been to where I live and have no plans to ever do so. I'm sure you have your challenges. I mean, like having to drive the distance I had to drive to get your place or where you wanted to meet.
Ok, I've just delved into bitter territory, so I'm going to come back home.

Lets see, oh, I was just informed last Saturday that I will be preaching on Youth Sunday for the main service. Yes, the main Sunday Service. I'm not nervous....yet.

32

2010-01-29T14:32:00.000-08:00

I turn 32 in two day and I really don't expect anything. My mom usually makes some special dinner for her kids on their birthdays but I don't really want to put her through the trouble. All kinds of people end up coming to the house and my mom has to buy and cook the food (one or two of my sister usually help and a third usually helps clean up too) and I'm starting to think it is too much work for her. I already feel, since I live at home (again, still) that I'm already a burden on my parents.
People are welcome to visit, but they probably shouldn't expect to be fed. I would be nice to see some people, though, people who I haven't seen in a while.

On other topics, I decided I'm not going to move out in March, I'm going to use the money I would have used toward house arrest to pay off my fines and have those paid off by the end of the year. THEN, I will look at moving out, when I can get my driver's license again.

I also found my theme song for 32.

I also want to thank Mahalia for helping me get through the last couple of years.

Random Musings

2010-01-21T09:47:00.000-08:00

I'm Oaxaca78, my sister Gary is GAPATON

Oaxaca78: Hi Mangina.
GAPATON: whats up Lint Licker?
Oaxaca78: Scratching my labia
GAPATON: hotness
Oaxaca78: It smells like cheez-its
GAPATON: really
Oaxaca78: and rotten egg farts.
GAPATON: gosh, now I'm hungry
Oaxaca78: LOL
Oaxaca78: That is funny.
GAPATON: you made me want a breakfast burro bad!
GAPATON signed off

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T09:39:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Everyone. As we are all with our family and our friends, I would like everyone to to remember the the people who have nobody to spend Christmas with and have no home. Also, we should remember the gay youth who have been thrown out into the street because they are gay. We should also remember those transgendered people who are consdered to be freaks by many of us, who, like our gay homeless youth, have no other option, but to turn to prostitution or adult films to survive. We should all be grateful this wasn't our lot in life and remember this next time we complain about our nosy neigbors or our crappy cellphone service (myself included). We should remember those who are addicted to drugs or alcohol and have no other outlet because they can't afford healthcare and make too much to be covered by the state and end up wasting their lives away. I could have been one of those people, but for the grace of God, I am still here.
So next time you unwrap a gift that sucks or is cheap or you have absolutely no use for, remember, someone else out there would be happy just to have the company of that person who gave you that gift.
Merry Christmas to all of you. I know you can't always give me your time, your attention or any material gifts, but am glad to have you nonetheless. I grateful to have a roof over my head and food to eat (my mother's cooking is rather delicious, I might add, just ask Lindsay Voitik). I glad to have my hyper-extended family, who I love very much and people who have become part of my family who are not blood relatives.
I am also grateful for my church family, who have welcomed me and made me feel a part of their family (especially for Pastor Adero, who introduced me to the church, and her partner Jan).
I am also grateful for my parents. My mother still thinks there's a chance I turn straight, but we'll let her think that. I am grateful that even though they don't believe I should be able to get married, she never turned her back on me and loved me nonetheless.
Most of all, I am grateful for my God. My God who is with me every day and help me and heals me and reminds me that I can do anything, with him and who saved me from myself. He loves me no matter what (even if some of his other believers seem to think otherwise.
Merry Christmas to all of you.

I'm going to leave with a passage from my favorite of the New Testament, the Gospel According to Luke (NLT) Chapter 2 Verses 1-20:

The Birth of Jesus

1 At that time the Roman emperor, Augustus, decreed that a census should be taken throughout the Roman Empire. 2 (This was the first census taken when Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 All returned to their own ancestral towns to register for this census. 4 And because Joseph was a descendant of King David, he had to go to Bethlehem in Judea, David’s ancient home. He traveled there from the village of Nazareth in Galilee. 5 He took with him Mary, his fiancée, who was now obviously pregnant.

6 And while they were there, the time came for her baby to be born. 7 She gave birth to her first child, a son. She wrapped him snugly in strips of cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no lodging available for them.

The Shepherds and Angels

8 That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. 9 Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, 10 but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. 11 The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! 12 And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in highest heaven,
and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.”

15 When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger. 17 After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child. 18 All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished, 19 but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often. 20 The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.

The Parable of the Cigarette Butts

2009-12-15T05:15:00.000-08:00

During my unfortunate incarceration, there were times when if we didn't pick up trash thrown bout the rock and gravel, also known as the tent area (concentration camp), we wouldn't be able to make use of the commissary. One particular day, it was closed for most of the day and a detention officer (who really had something to prove) was constantly walking around looking for garbage. She would make these very obnoxious announcements about picking up trash and they'd kinda ramble on and on. Now, let me reiterate the fact that most of the people in our area were misdemeanor offenders, DUI, drug possesion, petty crap, and I'm convinced all of us are there to create jobs and raise money for the state/county, but that's another matter. We slept in military-style tents where the sides could be rolled up and people around could see the inside of our tents.
Anyway, I slept in a corner of the tent I was in and guys from other tents would like to hang our right outside of it and smoke. When they were done they would throw their cigarette butts and matches on the ground after having forced us to inhale their tar and carcinogen-filled fumes. Lovely. On the particular day I mentioned earlier, I decided to get up and pick up trash. As I was picking up every single tiny piece of trash, at this point it was cigarette butts, I was fuming (no pun intended) about having to pick up other peoples' cigarette butts. I hated the fact that I would have to breath in those tumor causing, teeth-staining, smelling puking plumes of smoke (that I hate) and then have to pick up the product that caused it. I was not happy.
Then it occurred to me,

"How do you think God feels when he has to clean up YOUR mess?

Ok, Lord, got it. It was a situation where the point was definitely made. Lucky for me, God isn't like that. He's quite a bit more patient than me. He knows I do dumb sh!t and when I fall, he kinda of just sighs and says, "Come on, get back up." He doesn't even tell me to stop crying.

House Arrest

2009-12-11T23:47:00.000-08:00

I just saw Julie & Julia and needed to post something.

Since the last time I've updated, I've finished my first semester of seminary. Yes, I'm officially a theologian. I should have a bachelor's in theology within the next semester or two, the Dean of our school has yet to figure that out (it is a new seminary and I'm in it's very first class). I'm not sure when we start back up again, but I do know that our immediate goal is to attract more students.

I've been to court and have been convicted of a second DUI (within seven years, but just barely). This requires me to pay approximately $5000 in fines and to go to 72 hours of alcohol screening (3 hour classes at $20 a pop) as well as a M.A.D.D. class ($40). I have to pay $140 a month toward my fines, if I can't pay, I get sent back to jail, mostly likely to the wonderful work furlow section. I will be sure not to end up there because in the fifteen days I was there, two guys had blankets thrown over them and beaten, or so I'd heard. My license has also been suspended for a year. I spent 15 days in tent city and froze my man parts off trying to sleep at night. About 11 of those nights I didn't get more than 3-5 hours of sleep (mostly it was three). I had to be clean shaven in order to leave, shaving was done with cheap ass single blade razor that grazed at my face and neck more than removed my hair. Oh, and the paperwork said there would be space heaters in the tents, but there are not.

It was an interesting stay. I don't know if I passed for straight, but I don't think anyone who figured me out, figured me out right away. I was blessed enough to have a mostly decent group of guys. There was one guy that made me uncfortable with his comments about my gas, or perhaps it was that I'm gay. I wasn't sre what it was about, but I could definitely feel something was up with this guy. The guy in the bunk above me was pretty cool, was a couple of the guys that were in one of the holding cells with me.

Of interest were the time I was sent to ICE, which is Joe Arpaio's version immigration and his detention officers scratching their heads about the incident once I spoke. Another incident was when a Mexican guy was walking by the line for commissary asked a guy about four people ahead of me if he was Chicano and then said there was going to be a meeting. He continued to walk down the line, stopped and looked at me and then continued his search for Mexicans. Yes, the ethnic groups have meetings in jail, even though (as Keith said), they get to leave every day and their cars are parked just outside of that fence.

As of now, I'm on house arrest, but can go to work and church (once a week to church, I'm waiting on an approval to go more often). It costs me $384 a month. I also have to blow into a breathalyzer machine when ever the damn things goes off. I have to be careful not to have spicy food or mint around the time it goes off or it can give a false reading. I am glad, however to be home and sleeping in my comfortable bed with heating and stuff and I still pray for the guys who are still there and have lot of time to go. It almost makes me forget that I've lost a certain level of freedom until about March 20.

If you're wondering....

2009-11-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

I'm still around and I haven't abandoned my blog. I'm doing well in seminary and am still trying to put my spiritual gifts into practice. I'm also getting more opportunities to sing the way I want in church and have started taking Gospel lessons with Reverend Charlotte.

Letter to Logo

2009-10-19T14:17:00.001-07:00

I wrote the following letter to Logo after having watched An Englishman in New York:

Last night I was lucky enough to catch An Englishman in New York. Since I was in college and learned about gay culture and the drag culture within it. The former Lambda League as Arizona State has a book in its library called Drag Diaries. In this book I became familiar with well known drag queens such as Lypsyncha, Lady Bunny, RuPaul and Quentin Crisp. I have maintained my fascination with Quentin Crisp and even rented Orlando just because he was in it (playing Queen Elizabeth I).

When I saw previews for An Englishman in New York I became very excited that I'd have the chance to learn a little more about Quentin Crisp. Keep this in mind, whenever I mention the name Quentin Crisp around other people my age, I get the strangest looks because they know idea who I'm talking about. Nonetheless, I was very happy I saw the movie. One of the reasons was the hear what an older gay man had to say (we don't value our elderly as much as we should), and what he'd experienced. People forget what a struggle it was to be able to live openly as many of us do today.

The part of the movie that really stood out to me was the part about when AIDS started to appear in gay men. It reminded me that many people in the '80's had very little chance of survival. In the scene where a leather man confronted Quenin about the AIDS being a "fad," it reminded me of how grateful I am that I still have most of my friends. Many of them would have been long gone in the '80's. It made realize what an awful scourge AIDS was to our community. Not only were people dying, but others, who'd had to create their own families, were losing their newfound family members.

There are some that say AIDS is God's curse on our community. That would be like saying breast cancer is God's curse on women. In other words, it's a foul, cold-hearted, uncompassionate and glib comment. I don't agree with these comments. Being a young theologian, I prefer to look at the fact that the medical breakthroughs in the last twenty years show his mercy on all of us. Every day when I see my friends who are infected with HIV, I'm grateful that the still have HIV and not AIDS. People may say that it's they who are suffering, but many of them live full happy, lives (except for the burnden of informing people of their condition). I choose to praise God that my friends are still here and I don't have to live my life without them. I love them very much and I'm very grateful I don't have to find out how sad I'd be if I'd lost most of them.

Adventures in Seminary

2009-10-15T13:16:00.000-07:00

As some of you may already know, I'm attending seminary. Anyway, I did well on my first quiz in my Biblical Greek class, but someone scored higher than me and I'm not happy about it. Anyway, I have six taxonomies due on Friday and am nowhere near being done with it. On the bright side, I've done all the reading I need to do, but I now I need to logically order them and crap.

I think it's either due tomorrow or Saturday. I'm really not looking forward to an other test tonight and then a marathon class tomorrow night and all day Saturday.

LORD HELP ME NOW!

Two Weeks Completed!

2009-08-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

I've completed my day 14 workout of P90X and I'm feeling much better. I'm getting that endorphin release that feels so good. Bending down to pick things up is easer, so is getting in and out of cars. It sounds funny, but you notice these things when you're large. I weighed myself first thing this morning and weighed 227. Finally under 230. 27 Pounds to go. I just have to watch my knee in that plyometrics exercise and not overdo it.
Also I switched from Monster Milk (weight gainers simply make no sense for fat people, right, even though I did really like it) to Probolic-SR (21 grams of glutamine per serving, it's good for recovery and digestion!).

Going to the NAGAAA World Series?

2009-08-25T13:50:00.000-07:00

GOING TO THE NAGAAA WORLD SERIES?
Before you leave for Milwaukee or Madison, contact us at Compete, The Gay Sports Magazine. We'd love to publish your photos from the week's events. E-mail alfonzo@competemag.com or buddy@competemag.com.

You don't see this every day

2009-07-23T11:35:00.000-07:00

This was the game winning score in a European soccer game. Pretty darn cool. I would make a football comparison, but you get a much larger window to hit in football.

Comfort

2009-07-16T12:29:00.000-07:00

Things in my life have changed quite a bit this year. I guess I kind of knew it was coming, but didn't know exactly what it would be. Last Sunday, I found out that I'm going to have a part in my church's youth ministry. I've been wanting to do something for gay youth who need some guidance through their teenage years, it's a lot to figure out.
I went to my church's music group rehearsal last Tuesday and Pastor Charlotte starting teaching us two new songs. GOSPEL SONGS! Finally. I've been wanting to do that since.....well, for a long time.
I'm finding a lot of peace, as well as "comfort and joy." I feel as though my life is back on track. I'm not saying there isn't growth to be had, I'm just saying I'm finally on a bullet train to somewhere. It's good to know that I'm heading where I belong. Sometimes you just reach a level of joy that just makes you want to run out into the streets and tell everyone one about it. I guess now I understand why some people can't help but talk about Jesus. When you find that kind of joy and happiness, you just feel like you're just gonna BLOW UP if you don't share it. That's the great thing about being in a music group at my church. Not only do I get to share it, I get to sing about it!
I do want to make sure it's known that life isn't going to be perfect, going forward, but I am prepared for it. I know I don't get more than I can handle and everything will be for the good with it's over and done with.

Here's to life!

Here is the video I saw (Thanks Janelle Monae) that made me feel the need to post this blog:

Cee-Lo |MTV Music

Disappointment is good for you

2009-06-28T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today, as I was working out at the gym, I was thinking about dating again (though, I don't think I'm ready to get into anything serious so why bother?). There are a couple of people who I'd been interested in seeing (on a romantic level). One of my issues that have prevented this in the past is my weight (and my appearance with this particular weight). Since that was the final piece of my getting my act together puzzle, I thought I may be getting to where I am definitely ready to start looking, again. I didn't want to be a broke boyfriend, so that's part of the reason I've kinda strayed from it.
I was feeling good because worked out with my friend Joseph (who used to be a personal trainer) and went hiking with him, yesterday. Today, I worked out with him again and did about a five mile run through a hilly part of tempe when it was 110 degrees out (well, I had to stop at certain points because I wanted to kill myself). When I finally get myself motived, I don't mess around. I like to defy fat people stereotypes.
Anyway, I was having a conversation with a friend on facebook when I remembered someone in whom I'd shown interest. I decided to look at said person's facebook page. And there it was, like a surprise you don't want. "In a relationship with......" I was so upset that I sent a message to said person, who didn't quite get what I meant, right away. I ended up spelling it out. I think he could tell from my tone that I was upset and told me to call him (which was really sweet if you think about it). I decided against doing that. After a little bit of think (seriously, like two minutes), I realized it's probably better that way. I have a lot of things in my past that I really am glad I don't have to share with him. My skanky past doesn't need to be revealed to him and I would really rather this particular person saw in me in a positive light. That and the fact that his ex-is a "friend" of mine. Dating him would look really bad. I ended up telling him that I was glad he found someone who makes him happy and left it at that.
Anyway, even though I was disappointed, I got over it pretty quickly. I guess that's the great thing about faith, you give it to God and forget about it. Maybe it's a sign that now is not the time, maybe something better will come along. Maybe I need to stay single (indefinitely?). I don't know what's ahead, but things are looking up so I'm going to stay motivated to work out and lose this 55 pounds I'd like to see go the way of popped collars.

I should be doing this more often.

2009-06-26T19:18:00.000-07:00

It just occurred to me, as I sat down to write this, that when I do my blog I found motivation to exercise. What do I talk about so much? Being fat and how much I'd rather be in shape. I guess sitting down to write about it makes me face it instead of just bitching about it. I have to deal with it. I have to notice what is bothering me acknowledge that it's not going to fix itself.

Enough about that.

Life is improving. Realizing that my creditors aren't as patient I would like them to be, I'm thinking bankruptcy. I really didn't want to do it because I wanted to honor my obligations, but my creditors aren't that patient. The difficult thing about that, is I have to wait until I can afford lawyer to tell my creditors I can't afford to pay them. If you know a good bankruptcy attorney who is fairly reasonable, let me know.

What else, I'm hanging out with Leslie quite a bit. I guess it just isn't coincidence that she has a friend who lives a block from where I work. I guess she's someone who is meant to be a part of my life. I stay out of trouble around her. She's awesome too. I'm very grateful to have her as friend. I can be very candid with her. I'm also glad to know her business partner, Rhonda, because she's also become a good friend. I feel like they're two guy friends I can trust with a lot stuff.

I'm very happy to be surrounded by them and have a feeling I'll be around them quite a bit, going forward.

M.I.A. on Real Time with Bill Maher

2009-05-23T14:14:00.001-07:00

If you know me, you know that I REALLY like M.I.A. and when I found out she was going to be on Real Time with Bill Maher, I knew I'd find it somewhere on the internet. I did! It was on last night (I don't have HBO), so I had to do a search for it.

She did really well, speaking about the the minority group, the Tamil people, in Sri Lanka. She tell about her experiences attempting to leave the country and things the American pubic wouldn't hav known about otherwise. Many people think about countries like Somalia and Israel when they think about situations like this, but hopefully her appearance on the show will bring more attention to Sri Lanka. Maybe even get other countries to hold Sri Lanka responsible for its appressive treatment of the Tamil.

NAGVA Championships This Weekend!

2009-05-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

NAGVA (Gay Volleyball) Championships take place in Chicago this weekend. If you want to check out some hot volleyball men and women, this would be a great weekend to do it.

Registration takes place tonight at Macy’s on State: 111 North State Street; 2nd Floor Men’s Department 6:00pm-10:00pm. If you arrive after 8:00pm, you must use the Randolph and State entrance, all other doors will be locked.

For more information about game times and NAGVA Championships-related events, visit www.nagvachampionshipschicago.com

Things have changed

2009-05-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

The reason you haven't heard much from me is, I have made some changes in my life that have had some major effects.

I've stopped drinking. I'm not sure how permanent it will be, but I'm only concerned with now and will count on Jesus to let me know if the time to have one ever comes. If not, that's his will and I'll do my best to stay in line with it.
I can't say that I miss, it's saved me a decent amount of money. It's also saved me a fair amount of embarrassment and I think people are taking me a little more seriously. I was a little surprised to see that not everyone was as supportive as I'd expected, but to each their own.
I've started going to church again, regularly. I've even joined the music group, which I'm really excited about. I sang for the first time with the group this last Sunday. I only had one major mistake (I sang when I wasn't supposed to and all of us are mic'd). It's been a bit of a challenge because I'm used to learning from sheet music; here, I have to learn the music by listening and figure out my own part. The other challenge is that I've never sung bass before, which I will be singing once I figure out a bass part (for now, I'm singing the melody). I've also been informed that they may break into two groups. One is going to keep doing contemporary christian music, the other will do gospel music. I will DEFINITELY be a part of the one that does gospel music. I've been listening to a lot of Mahalia Jackson for inspiration. A little bit of the Caravans, too. I think this is where God wants me and he will make me successful if go where he wants me.
Also, the drummer in the church group told me she was going to give me the number for a guy that is forming an R&B/Funk group and he needed a vocalist, so she's giving me his number. I'm really excited about that. Lately, I've been wanting to be a part of a band, funny how I ended up back in music.
I'm also becoming a little more open to the idea of dating.
The really big event that has taken place in my life is that a very good friend of mine has been very supportive of me and has been wanting to hang out a lot. It's been saving us both a lot of money because we're not really going out. I know sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but we really love each other like family.

Things are well, and can only get better every day.

It's been a while

2009-04-03T17:32:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I've had a lot of changes take place recently. Last week I was in jail for criminal speeding (no fun). I got through it, but there were times when I thought I was just going to lose it.

Things are changing very rapidly for me and I feel as thought the last three years have been very drastic changes at a rapid pace. I don't know how much longer these changes will continue to rain upon me, but I'm trying to just it go and know that what is happening is for the best and leaving it in God's hands.

TTYL

Lisa and Nora

2009-03-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

I came across this when looking up stuff on Lisa Moretti (aka Tina Ferrari aka Ivory, etc). I saw this and laughed, and then I'd laugh again sporadically afterward. She really gets her point across.

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=3186490

My Butt Smells Like Magic Mango

2009-03-11T20:45:00.000-07:00

I have this thing about when I go to the restroom, I wipe until the paper is white (or whatever the color of the paper). About two-three years ago, Gary got me using wipes. He said it was because he was "sensitive." I noticed when I use them, I was cleaner a lot faster. I took on this use of wet wipes instead of toilet paper, with the exception of the final wipe. Anyway, I had to go the restroom while I was at work today and had run out of the stash I keep in my desk. Since Big Lots is right across the street, I figured they would have the same thing as the drugstore, but cheaper.
They did have some cheap-o brand that I was afraid would be the same as using my finger, so I decided on the Kandoos. Kandoo is a toilet-paper-like wipe made by Huggies, but I guess it's supposed to be for kids that don't wear diapers anymore or something. Anyway, while I was trying to get the damn things open (which apparently requires a trade certificate), I noticed they were scented. Pictures of melons and island-y fruit. I finally get the adhesive seal removed. "Magic Melon." My ass smells like Magic Melon. What the hell is that. What is so magical about this melon? Does is vaporize klingons? Is it magically delicious? I don't know about anyone else, but expect my.....but the only scent lower extremity (which really isn't a lower extremity if you think about it) should have is ASS SCENT.

Thank you.

What a great day!

2009-03-01T20:00:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I went to help Selma (an older lady with whom I work) with some stuff at her house. Since I was going to be doing some work for her, she wanted to take me to lunch at Blanco. Blanco is a Mexican restaurant at the Borgata in Scottsdale. It's a really cool place with a very relaxed ambiance. The food was really good. Serious. On top of the food being awesome I was kinda hot for our server (his name is James), he's my babydaddy. I love me a beefy man and he was that. Back to the food, we had the nachos for an appetizer and for the entree, I had the carne asada tacos and Selma had chicken enchiladas. The enchilada sauce was pretty similar to La Canasta. In other words, it was pretty damn good. The best part was the tres leches cake. It was the best tres leches I've EVER had. Dear Lord, it was good. Selma said it's best dessert she'd ever had that wasn't chocolate. James (our server) even let me try the mix the make for margaritas (which is made from fresh squeezed lime and orange...mmmmm). I'm still thinking about our server.
After I left Selma's, I met Ruben and Doug at Cherry. Ruben had been drinking and I went there to make sure he had a ride to wherever he needed to go, but someone picked him up. I hung out for a little bit and chatted with Doug. As I was leaving, two women asked me where there was a lesbian bar. I set them to Cash Inn Country. They invited me to come along and I did. There were REALLY cool and a lot of fun. One of the women was a lesbian and the other was like her niece and was straight. I country dance (somewhat effectively) and met a few new people. I ended up finding out the mother of the younger of the two women was dying from cancer and this was their night out as a way to take a break from everything. I also ran into a girl from the Hellraisers and she hung out with us as well.
Later Alma came to get me and we went to BS West. I don't remember of it.
She also made sure I didn't drive home that night, for which I am VERY grateful. I'm still thinking about James......

Close, but no speed dating.

2009-02-28T01:10:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to a fundraiser sponsored by the Hellraisers. They had a speed dating event that raised money for Valley 1 in 10. I was excited to do speed dating, but as it approached, I lost my interest and become more concerned that people wouldn't be intersted in me. I got there and they told me that the event was already taking place (I didn't even think they were going to have me pay for participation, but I still did, it was a fundraiser). Anyway, as I was standing there having my drink (after being sent to the "VIP Area"), I felt comfortable standing behind the border set up to differentiate the two areas. I then realized that people were walking around with sheets of paper that indicated everyone's names of those with whom they'd had a mini-date. At this point, I was glad I got there too late to participate because I figured I would hate to be in a position where nobody indicated any interest in me. I hung out and had a couple of drinks (thank you Mike at BS West) and then talked to a few people and left with Cade, Joe and couple of other guys from my fraternity.
What is with me? I know I hide behind my financial state. Maybe I'm not hiding. Maybe I'm doing them a favor.

Either way, I'm disappointed in myself right about now.

Francois Sagat and Sophia Lamar

2009-02-20T09:48:00.000-08:00

It may seem as though these two have nothing to do with each other, but they are actually very closely related and their connection isn't sexuality. They are very different, but have a lot in common.
We'll start with modeling. They are both models (yes, as in fashion) and do some wonderful things in front of the camera. Every so often I have to feed my fascination with their photoshoots. Sophia may sometimes sound like she's spewing vile hatefulness, but she's really making about point about people in society. I think her point is that people do dumb things because there are things about themselves that need work. Rather than work on those things, they choose to keep doing those dumb things. She is very entertaining to listen to and just a little bit scary. But I'd be very intrigued to hear what she has to say about whatever she wants to talk about.
Francois, I don't know much about. I don't watch porn or follow it, so my fascination isn't based in that. There's some fascination in the face that he has a tattoo of a the crescent and the star. I don't know if this is a reference to his faith, his beginnings or both. I'm not really into tattoos, but the face that he chose this as his tattoo. There is also something you can see in his eyes. Something that pulls you right in and makes you wonder what's going on behind them. I'm curious to know how he sees the world.
The main thing I think that really connects the two is art. They are two walking, breathing, living works of arts. I'm not talking about their bodies, or what they've done, but they themselves. Their person. I would love to have a conversation with either of them (actually, I've just decided it's one of the things I'd like to do in my life). There is something very graceful and stately about Francois, but there is also something about him that is very familiar. Sophia has this power about her that makes you want to get close, even though she may tear you limb from limb if you make the wrong move.
I love looking at the art they've been a part of and have tried to figure out what about it draws my eyes. It puts my mind into a different state, possibly even that of adoration.

Blogger's Note: After having read this, I noticed I'd entered "face" when I meant "fact." Freudian slip, perhaps?

The DRAMAAAA!!---Spoiler Alert!

2009-02-16T23:02:00.001-08:00

Well, an other episode of Rupaul's Drag Race.

WOW! Shannel really threw down the damn gauntlet in the lip synch for your life portion. I guess you just have to say fate took over, because had that headdress not fallen off she may not have stolen the judges attention from Akashia. The judges just got so used to seeing her in the bottom three that their eyes automatically went to her in the Lipsynch for Your Life portion of the show. I have to hand it to Shannel, though. She proved that she is the epitome of Vegas performers. Something goes wrong, use it to your advantage. She damn well did that. Congratulations on earning at least an other week, you deserve it. It was just so perfect that she had the opportunity to do exactly what the judges said was wrong about her. The only downside is that she'll be the bitch now that Akashia is gone.
Rebecca also gave us a good showing, as did the extravagant Nina Flowers and Ongina.
I'm so proud of my Nina Flowers, she had a lot going against, but she did her best and impressed the judges. Work it NINA
The winner of this week's challenge was Bebe Zahara Benet. I have to agree with the judges she did an amazing job, but (and this is my opinion only) I don't know that I can say is a standout to me. Maybe there's just too much going on with this show.

PS-What you got in there Miss Jade?

I'm so impressed with Beth & Bill

2009-02-13T07:47:00.000-08:00

Beth and Bill are local morning radio hosts on 99.9 KEZ (www.kez999.com). Earlier this week when they were talking about things to do, Vinny (I think that's his name) jokingly referenced BS West (a Scottsdale's oldest gay bar), TWICE!
Today, they did "The Mating Game" with three couples, one of which was gay.
I've always noticed they've been very open-minded and have a "live and let live" attitude, but having a gay couple on one of their contests is very impressive, especially when you consider they're a mainstream radio station.

KUDOS to KEZ and Beth and Bill.

Maybe they've have Alfonzo and Buddy from Compete, The Gay Sports Magazine on their show, sometime.

I'm holding my breath.

My Dating Profile

2009-02-12T14:23:00.001-08:00

I came across this on guys profile on realjock.com.

I thought it might be interesting to do my own.

Your dating personality profile:

Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active.
Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance.
Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate.

Your date match profile:

Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape.
Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things.
Stylish - You cannot put up with someone who is lacking in style. You want an original, someone with flare, someone with good taste.

Your Top Ten Traits

1. Athletic
2. Stylish
3. Liberal
4. Adventurous
5. Intellectual
6. Religious
7. Wealthy/Ambitious
8. Shy
9. Traditional
10. Sensual

Your Top Ten Match Traits

1. Athletic
2. Adventurous
3. Stylish
4. Wealthy/Ambitious
5. Religious
6. Intellectual
7. Traditional
8. Practical
9. Conservative
10. Shy

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

I'm Sad for Tammie Brown

2009-02-10T08:54:00.001-08:00

I watched the second episode of RuPaul's drag race last night and am very sad that Tammie Brown was eliminated.

I think she really stood out among the other contestants (well, except for Nina Flowers). She really does something specific and I guess it just wasn't cut out for this show. Forturnately, she realized this when she was working with Akashia and decided she would get through this challenge and move on.

I am a little sad though. I thought it was really cool to see someone from the new generation of drag performers take on the old Hollywood glamour. Yeah, she was a bit scary looking, but have you seen Bette Davis in some of her movies? I really think she was spot-on with her execution of what she's doing right down to the hairline.

Hopefully Tammie can fill rolls as a child of Lipsinka or something. Either way, I'm glad I had the chance to see her. She did have something the other drag queens didn't. She saw the humor in what she was doing. She was a bit quirky, but that was what was cool about her personna.

If you read this Tammie, I really hope to see more of you in the future.

Best of luck.

Back on the Wagon

2009-02-08T11:53:00.001-08:00

Today, I made myself workout again. The antibiotics I was on should be fizzling away as we speak and the muscle soreness and joint weirdness is going away. Since I haven't had much luck getting someone to commit to working out with me (other than Christina and Cade, and I can't commit to their schedules until I have my own car, back) I decided it's up to me to make it happen. I pulled out my P90X dvds and went to work. Since my weights are at Wayne and Jenny's I decided to workout that would put the least amount of stress on my joints and my ankle. I did core synergystics. Since it was the first time in a while I was able to do real workout, I did the weight-free version.
I will admit that p90X is very difficult, but that has to do with the fact that I'm carrying a lot of weight in my mid-section. Once I get that down, it will be much easier. I also feel really good about myself since having done it. I'm feeling very happy and accomplished. I also thank Tony for letting me use his ankle brace. Hopefully, I should be working out without it by the end of the week.
I plan to get back into the workouts full steam ahead once I move back out of my parents' house.

I'll keep you posted on how that goes. If I get started on it next weekend, I 'll be done with the 90 day cycle by summertime.

Which brings me to an other topic.

I plan to move out next week. It's a little strange to consider because me and my parents have lived together since I was 23 (five and a half years in my own house). I decided it was time to become more responsible for myself and get out and be my own man. I expect to have a lot of support since Jenny and Wayne are also very focused on being in shape, so I really think it's the right move. They're also not drinking alcohol, so I'm looking forward to their encouragement in doing the same, myself.

I have to get a couple of things to get sorted out this week so that move can actually take place, but I'll try to make sure those things are squared away.

Songs I Miss

2009-02-06T18:25:00.000-08:00

This week, a few songs came into my head and I realized how much I LOVE these songs. Unfortunately, I could find Mandalay by La Flavour on itunes, but I did find There But for the Grace of God Go I by Machine. What a great freaking song. I'm going to do drag to it some day.

They just make me want to dance.

There is some serious social commentary in the second one.

Carlos and Carmen Vidal just had a child
A lovely girl with a crooked smile
Now they gotta split 'cause the Bronx ain't fit
For a kid to grow up in
Let's find a place they say, somewhere far away
With no blacks, no Jews and no gays

Chorus:
There but for the grace of God go I

Poppy and the family left the dirty streets
To find a quiet place overseas
And year after year the kid has to hear
The do's the don'ts and the dears
And when she's ten years old she digs that rock 'n' roll
But Poppy bans it from home

Chorus

Baby, she turns out to be a natural freak
Gaining weight and losing sleep.....
And when she's sweet sixteen she packs her things and leaves
With a man she met on the street
Carmen starts to bawl, bangs her head to the wall
Too much love is worse than none at all

Chorus

Isaiah 2:22

2009-02-03T15:53:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 2:22 NLT
Don’t put your trust in mere humans.
They are as frail as breath.
What good are they?

I came across this verse last night (a second time) and didn't realize how much I was going to feel it would really sink in very shortly after. I'll explain.
Last Saturday I met someone who was hitting on me (at least what appeared to be hitting on me to myself and everyone around me, because he was pretty aggressive about it). I followed along the path of my regular neuroses and thought about what could be in the future. The part that really got me excited was when I found out we both actively practice our faith and his seemed very closely aligned with mine. I text him a couple times and last night he called and talked to me (after I'd send him a couple of text messages). After the conversation had gone along he tells me that he should let me know that he has a boyfriend. I guess the emotion that hit was very similar to what emotions you would tie to the first part of the following:

if that didn't work, click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-JjNJAkBZc

Anyway, I got over and my glorious emotional victory over it could be felt in the second part of that video. Anyway, it left me with a bad taste in my. More so because I'm guessing this happened to me as a lesson not to do this to anyone, ever again. I got it. What an asshole I must have been to anyone else when I've led someone else to believe what was not the reality. Anyway, he supposed to go to churchh with me Sunday and then for a hike. I knew there was a reason I was liking this thirties stuff. I'm finding I'm getting over things a lot quicker than I used. If I help him find a church he likes, all the better.

Other stuff, I got some very expensive antibiotics that I didn't have to pay for and I am feeling much better, but my muscles are sore (Levaquin is some powerful stuff but has some side affects). Thank you Jesus! I only have one more day on it and hopefully I'll be able to taste food again.

I'm thirty-one, now. Say Happy Birthday.

Thank you.

This Damn Cold

2009-01-22T16:35:00.000-08:00

So, earlier this week my allergies got REALLY bad and I thought I was able to fight it off. I kept my humidifier/air purified turned way up and slept with it in my room. I started to feel better. Then yesterday someone walks into the office and says, "You have a cold." I thought I didn't.
Damn her!
She was right.
It started getting really bad last night, like when it feels like someone is sitting on your chest. I didn't want to take mucinex because it breaks up the mucus in your chest so you can cough it up, but it also has a cough suppressant. In my opinion, it defeats itself. You want to be able to cough that crap up.
Anyway, my cough is really bad today and I've been taking an herbal expectorant, on which I can still cough. I started getting sinus headaches too. I'm going to have to miss rugby practice tonight because of it. Damn it.
On to other things. I was trying to arrange my Q & A for the March issue of the magazine and I'd contacted Logo about having RuPaul in the next issue. After making my way through the various channels, I was directed to someone at RuCo. (RuPaul's company). I email her that I did want to do the in Q & A by the end of the first week in February.
I come to work today and there is an email that she is available, in about an hour! I freak out. I wasn't prepared for it to be that soon. I respond telling her that time works for me and I get to work right away putting the questions together. A half hour later, I decide to call and ask if she is going to be available at that time. I find out that slot is taken, but she has an 11:20. Perfect!
It gave me quite a bit more time to work on the questions and make sure there was an office with a computer I could use, and a phone. Buddy was out, so I used his office.
Anyway, the interview went really well and I had a great time on the call.

I even found out what Ping Ting Ting means.

Don't Eat That

2009-01-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

No, this has nothing to do with tossed salad, so need to gross out. Yet.
I went to boot camp today (for rugby) and got there late because of the transportation situation, but still managed to get a bit of exercise. It's amazing how much I miss those guys when I'm not around them all the time. I was doing so-so with my ankle issue, until we did a tackle drill and I took a shoulder to the side of my knee (that sh!t hurts). I managed to get up and do some more (except for the very last thing because I had to barf). I could have done better but....well, I guess there's no excuse, except for the part where I got really dizzy and had a pretty bad headache.
Anyway, I was at Target with my mom a little later and they had samples. You know, like at Costco. You know, you can always trust those Costco samples to be warm (or cold if they need be) and rather tasty. Target, not so much. There was one table where they have had this protein water, the next had fruit shit, and then there was the one that had Archer Farms. I'm guessing Archer Farms is a Target brand because I've never seen it anywhere else. Anyway, they had Archer Farms Macaroni and Cheese (I think some cheddar and something else variety) and Hummus Bread. I tried the mac and cheese and discovered why my little sister is obsessive about smelling her food before she eats it. Had I smelled it, I probably wouldn't have eaten it. Okay, I'm lying, I probably would have tried it anyway. Well, I took a bite of it and told my mother that it tastes like vomit smells. Then having remembered that I barfed earlier, I realized that it tastes like vomit tastes.

Be warned.

Last year is over, this year is on!

2009-01-02T13:02:00.000-08:00

It's funny how every year, at the beginning of the year, I can be so excited about what lies ahead in the new year. By March, I am so sad and disappointed with myself, I've just said "fuck it" by then. Right now, I won't say how many failures I've had last year, but I will point out some things I managed to survive.

1. Foreclosure. I've found that this was a pretty big deal. It sucks to lose something you spend years to acquire and to have to lose it Life goes on. I also have to mention how greatful I am to Rick Hagfeldt for letting me stay with him when I really felt I had no place to go (or places to go where I didn't want to stay, or didn't feel right staying there). If you read this Rick, thank you. I am very blessed to have a friend like you. I wish you the best with your new partner, he's hot.

2. Alcohol Abuse. Well, I still engage in too much drinking every now and then, but am now deciding that's not how I want to be known. I've also started taking precautions to be sure I'm not driving drunk. Also, I'm finding my friends have really stepped up when show that I'm taking steps myself. Thank you Anton, Tony, Rocky, Brenda, Eric, Orlando and my parents. Thank you for keeping me in touch with what I know I need to do. I needed to feel like a real shit for my behavior and I'm glad you all had to balls to tell me I needed to get my shit together.

3. Carjacking. Shit happens, but I'm glad Joseph was with me. If not, I would have frozen my ass off without my jacket you grabbed for me. Rather than complian, I'm grateful that I had something to steal, rather than be the person who did the stealing.

4. The Phoenix Storm Board of Directors. Dear Lord.....thank you for helping me get through this. There were times when I felt I stood alone, but I realized I was there to be a voice for the players and that's what I did. I may not be the most dependable person on the board (and thank God I only finished someone's term at Secretary), but I did my best considering the challenging year I was living. I'm still a member, but can now take an at-large member position (like I'd previously thought). Thank you Steve, for your confidence in me. I only wish I could have made you proud.

5. Getting There. About a year and a half ago, I started reading the Bible again. I'm about Five pages from having read it cover to cover. Like anything that sticks, changing myself has been a process that has taken time. I'm drinking less often than I used to and have start to remove things that I feel pollute the mind (or at least, mine). I'm very happy with the progress I've made and overjoyed at the support I've received from my friends. I'm very happy to have them and very loving family. Thank you all for helping me grow.

6. The Master Cleanse. Sweet Jesus, I think if you can help me get though this, you can get me through anything. Ten days without food. Only mint tea, Grade B Maple Syrup, Lemon Juice, Cayenne Pepper, Salt Water and Smooth Move Laxative Tea. I did and I felt I showed Jesus that I'm willing to do for him. It was a show of faith and cleared my mind. It's amazing at the freedom you can find when sex isn't a motivator.

7. A period of celibacy. I don't remember how long it was, but I committed to it. I think I went a month or something. NOw that I look back, I wish it were longer.

8 Turning 30. Yeah, so what. I turn 31 in 29 days. What's your point?

Moving Out

2008-12-18T05:34:00.000-08:00

Last Friday, after being very harshly told by my step-dad, "....but I don't care about you," I decided it's time for me to go. As you may know, I'd oned a home for nearly five years until it was foreclosed on last April. My parents lived there, as well. I've lived with them since they moved into their new house in June. Well, was have some drinking problems and finally got them in control. They resurfaced last week and I didn't get home (in what my mother thought was) in time to get her to work on time. My parents were upset, and I understand. Anyway, I had planned on moving out for a while (even while we were at the other house).
I told my mother about it yesterday and you'd have thought I told her they were selling one of her grandchildren. There was this long conversation about, "I'm worried you'll (insert irresponsible behavior here)..." That is part of the reason I need to go. I'm looking forward to living somewhere where if I leave a light on, someone doesn't come and ask me if I'm done with it. Honestly, I fell this is where I'm being led. I think this will give me a chace to be my on my own again (which I haven't been since 2001, if you consider being in a relationship on you own.
Also, I was planning on moving out when my friend Wayne gets his place, but getting my clutch, timing belt and water pump is going to cost more than I expected. The clutch I thought would cost about $250 total to replace.....try $835. I'm looking at $1,100 total. Looks like I'll be moving out at the end of January.
Also, I starting running again, a lot. As of Tuesday night, I'd run 14 miles this week (seven miles over two days). I was hoping to make it 21, but about 2/3 of a mile into mile six, I felt something cutting one of my toes and my ankle really started to bother me. I ended up walking the last 1 1/3 miles and added an eight mile. I tried to run again for the last 1 1/3 miles, but my ankle and toes were really bothering me, and with pain. I decided I would take today off and possibly Friday and start again on Saturday morning. I do feel a lot better about having done it, even if I really sore. Weighing what I do at my height makes that much running kind of difficult, but the point is to not weight that much any more.

Gay Sports Mixer-Join Us!

2008-12-09T15:48:00.001-08:00

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to send open invitation to anyone in the Phoenix Area to our First Gay Sports Mixer. This will be a chance for anyone who is gay and likes or plays sports or who just lives an active lifestyle. This will also be an opportunity to network. Athletes from ALL sports are welcome, softball, volleyball, rugby, football, darts, curling (not as in your hair).....ANYTHING.

In addition to 2 for 1 drinks, they'll have $1 Cherry Shots and $1 10 oz drafts just for us!

Date & Time: Thursday, December 18 at 7PM
Location : Cherry Bar
1028 E Indian School Rd
Phoenix, AZ 85014
602-277-7729

He ME!!!!

2008-12-09T12:04:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, tomorrow I get locked up for Muscular Dystrophy, help me by making ANY kind of donation you can can. $5, whatever and you can make your donation by clicking here by copying and pasting the follwing link to your browser: https://www.joinmda.org/downtowntempe08/alfonzo

I can mark one off my life's to-do list

2008-11-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

I had a wonderful time at the wedding last nigth, but I am very glad it's over. What was really funny was that I was the best man and managed some of the maid of honor duties. For example, the bride wanted me to help her put on her wedding gown, most to make sure her undergarments were set to make her look her best and to lace up the corset so she looked her best. It ended up taking nearly an hour to make sure the gown was sitting the right way and she was very happy to see her boobs were very prominently set. I think some members of her family didn't know what to think about the best man being there to help the bride into her gown. Anyway, she was very happy with how she looked and even I was impressed with my own handy work.
Well, we got to the church and people started to show up. Then I saw my mom and I was a little shocked. She went to have her hair done by someone who is very good at what he does, but the do she had was just not her. Something told me the wedding was going to be a little off. We got through the ceremony and then went to Scorpion Gulch at South Mountain to take some pictures. It was a REALLY cool setting for pictures. By the time were done with that I was REALLY hungry and we headed back to the hall for the reception.
About a half hour after getting to the reception, the bride found me and told me, "I need you to help me tie my dress up." Her dress had a train which could be tied up by a system of color coded strings and loops. We went to look for an empty room and were about to go into an electrical closet when I told her nobody would care if I went into the restroom to help her. So you have to picture the bride and the best man in the women's restroom of the wedding hall. The bride is holding the back part of her gown over her head and I'm matching the strings to the loops to strings so that the train part of her gown was tied up so it cascaded instead of flowing onto the ground.
The food was to be served from 5-7. I had two very strong margaritas by the time they served the food and was about to walk to the jack in box when I saw the food coming out. Finally! I'm glad I waited because the food was pretty good.
We did a lot of dancing but my shining moment was when I gave my toast to the bride and groom. Giving the best man's speech/toast was on my list of things to do before I die. Apparently, I gave a very good speech/toast because I received quite a bit of applause and a lot of compliments. Later my mother told about how quiet it became while I was speaking and a lot of my family told my mom what a great job they thought I did. I mostly mentioned how they have to be able to forgive each other to stay together, no matter how hard that may be and they both have to think of the other as the greatest person in the world.
At one point I started crashing and my aunts kept asking me to dance. I was starting to get REALLY crabby so I decided tohave a pepsi so that I'd come back. It worked and before I knew it, I was tearing up on the dance floor, again. BTW, I'd never heard of the Cupid Shuffle before last night.
Toward the end of the night, I'd noticed the bride was wandering between her very good friend and everyone else. I walked over and realized she was having some tequila (which she was drinking very slowly). I was surprised to see her drinking it because she's not much of a drinker. I then went to sit with some of my family on my mom's side, next to my older sister. She and I chatted for a while before everyone decided it was time to round people up and get out. I got up and was talking to my mom and then the bride walked up to me. I told her congratulations, again and she hugged me and was all happy about the wedding. I told her that I was suprised her gown held up for the entire day and her eyes got big and she said, "I KNOW." I am completely serious. Her dress did not move out of place the entire day and she was working it (dancing). I then realized she was hanging on to me and I asked her if she was drunk and she dropped her head on my shoulder for second and then started laughing this high pitched laugh. Then I started laughing at her because she was drunk and then she started laughing because I was laughing at her. People that were still there started gathering around her and it really because a scene, but in a good way. Like when everybody is kind talking about what they liked and what they were happy about, like the organist at the church (which impressed even me). The bride and my mom were laughing because her mom was upset that she as a little drunk, maybe even just tipsy. Then my brother (the groom) walked up and she held onto him and said that she was embarassed because her mother was upset about her being drunk. He told her, "You don't live here anymore." We all had a good laugh about that and then started moving outside.
My mom and I were really hungry and my dad had already left, so I was her ride home. I told my mom we would go to Jack in the Box first. After that, we went to my brother's house because he needed to get his car. He came to the door and I could him telling his new wife that myself and my mother had arrived. I hear scream (because she was glad we were there) and asked me to help her get the gown back off. I helped her out of it and I told her to start posing for my mom the way she was doing in the undergarments before the wedding (the undergarments were a corset and something that resembled a hoopskirt without the hoops.
I took my brother to get his car and then stopped at Jack in the Box for them on the way back to get my mom. Before my mother and I left, they wanted to open their gifts and the bride decided she'd had enough of being drunk and was greatful for her taco. I also un-did my mother's do. When I was done, it looked like her head was a grenade and someone had pulled the pin. By this time it was 2:20am and I figured my brother was very anxious to consumate his marriage so I encouraged my mother to get going.
I am very proud of my brother and I wish him the best and am feeling very elated to have been the best man at his wedding.

I am the Best Man

2008-11-21T07:38:00.000-08:00

Last night was the rehearsal for at the church for my brother's wedding. That was loads of fun. On the other side, I had the chance to meet more of the bride's family. My younger sister didn't show up because she was getting her hair trimmed. I think my mom was trying to avoid it. One of my sisters has been married twice, but this is her son and I think she was stressing a little bit and I guess maybe she didn't know how to deal with it.
After the rehearsal, my brother and I went to dinner (just us two) and stuffed our faces, in lieu of going out and stuff (it just isn't his style). We had a good time and talked mostly about comedy and politics (because they are closely related). It as kind of cool because the two of us haven't really done much since he's been with this girlfriend, it's been impossible to get them apart for he last three years. We had man-time! He he.....
Anyway, he stayed over at our house and my mom starting bringing stuff out from her wedding to my stepdad (it'll be 21 years in December). One thing we really noticed was that only about a handful of people signed her guest book, which surpised me because there were a LOT of people at that wedding.
Today is the wedding and my brother will be a little less my brother (yes, even less so than when he started dating the bride). It's kind of strange because I'm the only single one left of all of my siblings. All of them have been with their current spouse/partner for at least a few years. I'm starting to feel like I would like someone to be with. I only worry that usually I start seeing someone and then I panic because I think I would rather be single. I'm making that the past. He does seem to be excited about gettig married, though.
About a year ago, I started to think it would be cool to be a best man in a wedding and here I am a year later. We already had the bachelor party and he had a great time. My little sister and her boyfriend even came along. Today, I give a toast, and I didn't write it down, but I have an outline of what I'll say. There will be a lot of partying it up tonight, because that's one thing us Mexicans to extremely well.
I hope to have some pictures up and I really hope the best for my brother and Edith.

I DID IT!

2008-11-13T05:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was the 10th day of my fast/cleanse. I'm still in a little bit of shock that I made it ten days without food, praise Jesus.

The total amount of weight lost as of this morning, when I woke up: 19 pounds!!!!!

I was hoping for 30, but expected at least 20. 19 is good enough for me! I started breaking yesterday at mid-day because I REALLY want to have the food of my people (mexican) tomorrow for lunch, so I am cramming a three day break into a day and a half. What can I say? I'm HUNGRY! Yesterday I started drinking orange joice with some maple syrup mixed in. It was so sweet that I had to dilute it 1:1 with water. Seriously, sweet drinks and foods are WAY too sweet for me now.

I do have to say that I am very proud of myself and I am glad Wayne talked me into doing it. It was worth all the laxative teas and shooting water out my butt after the salt was flushes, being deathly afraid to fart, the headaches, the toxic feeling and the cold symptoms on the last two days. I gained some calm and quite a bit of mental clarity. Best of all, my body has been detoxified!!!! WOO HOO!!!

I've decided I am going to go for that extra 20 pounds. My next goal is three pounds. I'm going to break it up into smaller, more attainable goals to reach the big picture. For now, I'd like to get down to 12% body fat. I'll decide from there how thin I want to be.

I also want to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who supported me through this and talked me out of eating and drinking and told me it was ok when I had that teensy tiny sip of champagne at Jodie's weeding.

You CAN do it, too.

I've also heard the cleanse is really good for addictions like drugs, smoking and drinking, so if you have any of those problems and would like to quit, do it! And hit me up for some encouragement.

Mmm....some mixed greens sure do sound tasty right now.

Cleanse Day Nine

2008-11-11T20:35:00.000-08:00

Well, today went by much easier than I expected and I am very happy to be much closer to eating solid food again. I was feeling really toxic again today and my allergies were kicking my butt. I really didn't want to go to practice, but still went anyway. I figured they needed people to show up since there is a game on Saturday, even if I can't go. I am now starting to think I shouldn't have bothered.
Practice was going ok and I was feeling really run down but still gave it the effort. Until a particular player (who tends to do fucked up things to other players at practice pulled me and I landed on my knee. Now I understand that maybe he's trying to get us more prepared for playing, but I just felt it was completely unecessary. After that, my knee was pretty fucked up, but I still kept trying to go. Now my cleats have been poking through on my left shoe and it hurts like hell to run in them, even with Dr. Scholl's in there. Anyway, I ended up leaving because I thought my cleanse was slipping out. I got to the car to change my shoe and lifted my right foot to rest on my knee while I untied and took of my shoe. Damn, it hurt like hell when it touched my knee (the one I landed on). I just became very angry at that point and asked myself, "Why am I doing this?"

I didn't have an answer.

I guess my heart just isn't in it anymore.

Master Cleanse Day 8

2008-11-10T17:27:00.000-08:00

Lord AM I HUNGRY!!!

I heard from people that by this point, they don't even think of food. Ever since I went to Jodie's wedding (which was freaking amazing,really, the most awesome wedding I've ever attended), I've been wanting to. Still I am excited that I've had the self-control not to eat since Sunday of last week. I can barely believe it myself, I even asked for prayer to get me through the next last three days of it. Wednesday will be my last day and I'm trying to decide if it's bittersweet or not. When I'm stuffing tacos into my face I'm sure that bitter part will be long gone.
Tomorrow I'm guessing will be the day when all the weird chain of caca comes out of me, that was the whole reason I was doing this. To get the stuff built up on my intestinal wall removed.
On the bright side, I've lost 13 pounds and my joints feel much better. I breathe much easier and I smell EVERYTHING!
I have been told that when you have craving for something while you're on the cleanse, it means your body is cleaning out the toxins was left behing by those things giving you the cravings. I guess my body is cleaning out food from my system.
Anyway, two days left!

Master Cleanse

2008-11-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

If you didn't already know, Wayne (a co-worker and friend of mine) talked me into doing the master cleanse with him. The one where you drink a lemonade made with Maple Syrup, Lemon Juice and Cayenne Pepper. Before bed, you're advised to take senna leaf tea and in the morning a salt water flush (a liter of lukewarm water with a tablespoon of sea salt added).
I'm on day six. And you're right, the only thing I've ingested since Sunday night has been that lemonade and aside from what I listed above, a cup of mint tea (that was a serious treat).
If you're not familiar with Michael Losier, he wrote the book The Law of Attraction The Science of Getting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don't.
Anyway, we hung out with him on Wednesday and he's a pretty cool guy to hang around with. We talked about me being on the master cleanse and that he's also done it about three times. He told me a little about what I shoud expect and explained that he was impressed by the fact that I as able to sit with people who eating and not eat a thing, myself.
Anyway, I went his seminar at Celebrate Your Life, with was wonderful. The part that was not so wonderful was that day five must have been the day your body starts kicking out some REALLY nasty stuff. I as bloated, REALLY bloated. I've also noticed on day 2 or 3 that my sense of smell has been dramatically hightened. I've also noticed I'm coughing up a LOT of mucus.
Anyway, I was fairly ok in the morning, but in the after noon, the gas decided for me that it would be making it's exit. I somehow managed to keep myself from running out of the Sheraton screaming like a tranny banshee and finished listening to the seminar. Luckily the people in front of me made hasty exit. After they left, I got up to try to leave and as I was walking away I let a very silent and even more deadly one slip out. I smelled. BAD! Anyway, Eric wanted me to talk with some other people that our Law of Attraction group meets in Tempe, to get more people to show up. Well, while we were talking, an other one slipped. I smelled SO bad, it smelled as though someone took a nasty shit in the middle of the room. It was time for me to leave.
On the bright side, Thursday was the last day the salt water flush would burn on it's way out (also called a "hot stool"), I read that when this happens it's because your body is kicking out A LOT of toxins.
By the way, I'm down 13 pounds since Monday. At this point, I'm wondering if I can make 14 days. I'm told that is the duration of time it takes to get rid of irritable bowel syndrome.

Hmmm.......

Last Saturday's Game

2008-10-28T13:49:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday was our game against Thunderbird. The ball is just behind one of my feet. The next one is me making my first tackle in the game, I'm in white. The first one is us winning a scrum. This last picture is from a ruck, that's me on the ground trying to keep the ball on our side.
What really sucked was that they had this Samoan family on their team that isn't part of their team. They actually play for a team in Gilbert, which is a few divisions above us.
Maybe next time they'll bring their own players.

Later at the drink up, I decided I'd have my first drink in about a week and a half. Normally, I drink light beer, if I can be convinced to drink it. I saw someone brought Stella and decided to have a drink. It ended up making me feel really gross. I told Tony I was feeling like I was going to have to throw up. He said I should just get it over with. I did, except it couldn't just be a little bit of vomit. It was like, projectile. Three times. (I'd once heard that sometimes when vomiting, people can release on the back end, too and crap their pants, this made me a little weary.).
I did feel better after that.
Later a few of us were sitting around talking and this guy who has had some drama with me decided it was a good time to tell everyone I'd slept with his boyfriend (incidently, the guy that was his boyfriend told me they weren't together when I did, when I did find out they were together I stopped talking to him). I responded by telling him that he knows what he got with his boyfriend and that if he hasn't figured it out by now it's his own problem.

Later we went to Mary Coyle's for ice cream. Ruben told me that I didn't hear what he told the guy. He said that he was pissed of that the guy said that in front of everyone trying to make me look bad. Anyway, I'd gotten up to use the restroom and Ruben told him, and I quote as closely as I can, "Uh, *said person* slept with half the team," and he went on to mention that he needs to get off my back. He also told me that it got very uncomfortable within the group after that.

I'd already considered Ruben to be a good friend, but this really solidifies it.

I did tell Ruben however, that I knew they all knew the story and that I really didn't care what the guy said or thought about me. If he wants to be stupid and stay with someone who is probably screwing around on him as we speak, it's his own stupid fault.

So I Prayed About It

2008-10-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

This last week, while at church, there was a guest pastor was introduced as an ex-homosexual who is now married and has nine kids. I forgot the term they used, but it was along the lines of "cured" or recovered. This sent me into an internal conflict I haven't seen since I was 18 years old and came out to my mother. I felt heaviness on my and asked God to tell me what is right and what is not.

He answered.

He helped me realize that I wasn't afraid of what how he felt toward me, but how THEY felt toward me. The people at my church don't know, yet, that I am gay and I am thinking I should follow suit with my friend Shane and go to a church where I am not afraid to tell people I am gay.

The Loneliness of Recovery

2008-10-20T17:59:00.000-07:00

This weekend I spent a lot of time with my mom. She was looking for a dress for my brother's wedding. She had a particular blue in mind. Incidently, she ended up buying the first one she found when I went with her the week before. Yes, I'm my mother's stylist. Shut up.
I've been trying to spend as much time as I can at home on the weekends, at least at night. I want to make sure I steer clear of any situation that would tempt me to drink when I am driving myself anywhere. The more I'm around my mom, the less inclined I am to go drinking.
Saturday, I had the car wash to do for the Storm and was planning on going to Nikki's party for her baby. When I got home, I found out my mother was planning to go get the dress she liked. I told her I'd rather she didn't drive herself, especiall since she had taken her pain medication. I had to cancel on Nikki. I figured, maybe we'll get done early enough that I can go meet the guys from my rugby team at the Fair (they had plans to go that night).
We went and got the dress for my mom and then she wanted to see if she found any shoes she liked. She didn't. Then she reminded me that she was making menudo and still needed to get the stuff to make it. So much for the fair. I ended up getting home at 9:30.
Lately, I've been trying to find people who will go running with me. I realized Tod spends a lot of time with his parents, who also live in Laveen. I text him to tell him if he ever wants to go running and he is in the area, to give me a call. He then decides to call me and tell me they are all still at the fair. Suddenly, I felt very alone. I really wanted to be out with my friends having fun. I wished at least one of them would have come over to hang out. I know I have Jesus and all and that I'm never really alone, but I would have really liked to have someone around. I could have met someone out and gone drinking, but I didn't want to do that. Every so often I do feel lonely, like when I'm going to bed, but this was different. That feeling that what I'm going through, I'm having to go through alone.
Anyway, I ended up coming home on after choir practice on Sunday and had the exact same feeling. Everyone was already in bed and only the kitchen lights were on.

I just didn't want to feel that way.

Don't Take Me There

2008-10-17T16:06:00.001-07:00

Last night I had a couple interesting things happen. On the way home, I had to stop by the yerberia (herb store for mexicans and overly-optimistic non-mexicans). I knew of one that was on the way home, but I'd never actually been inside. I walked inside and suddenly my mother and myself feel as though we walked onto the set of a Cheech and chong movie. I got what I needed for about $5 (take that chain drug stores) and when we left, we smelled as though we'd just walked out of a bar.
I decided I wanted to get a hair cut before going out later to see some friends from high school at Ra. I walk into a salon and ask if the only person working that night could get me in. She could. Ten minutes later she calls me and asks what I want. She wasn't understanding me and was discouraging me from getting what I wanted. Although, my first red light should have been the fact that a salon was going to charge me $12 for a hair cut, I still failed to stop when she proceeded to tell me that I really don't want my hair the way I was describing. I decided to use my phone to find a picture of the hair cut I wanted. I found it and showed it to her and she looked at it and went ok with, but was kind of dismissive about it. As I was driving home, I realized that, in addition to not doing what asked, she left the side of my head (toward the top a little longer than the hair above it. What the hell kind of bozo the clown cut is that?

I also later note that the sides were bumpy. At one point I explained to her that normally I don't have to going into so much detail when Defons cuts my hair, but I also pay $35 (plus tip). The only comfort I take from this situation was that I had gas and when she was cutting my hair was the time it decided to start making it's exits. They were silent and dissipated quickly. Lucky for me, she was frosting someone's hair and the chemicals in the frosting mixture was overpowering my glade wisp scents.
Anyway, I get home and take a shower, Gary FINALLY picks me up and we go to Ra. On the way, I told him I did not want to go to a particular bar because I did not compose myself in a manner becoming of a lady the last time I was there.

Anyway, we go to Big Bang and I impress my friends with my falsetto singing along to Bohemian Rhapsody. BTW, Sarah's husband is nasty and out of control when he's performing. SO MUCH FUN!
We leave Big Bang after not very long and decide to hit central Phoenix. Guess where we end up. That place where I didn't want to go. We weren't even ten feet in the bar when someone walks in and tells me, I'm glad you're still alive, I tried to help you, you wouldn't be helped.....etc. Gary then tells the guy that he should have called him. I instantly respond that he wasn't answering his phone. So much for trying to go unnoticed. I wasn't enjoying myself and luckily the music sucked, so we decided to go Denny's. Turns out we had more fun at the restaurants than at the bars.

Funny how things start to change when you get older.

Some of my LOLz

2008-10-14T10:42:00.001-07:00

So I am addicted to Failblog.org and pundit kitchen.com.

They even let you make your own with pictures they post on their website.

Here are some of mine.

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

In honor of Ruben Grace

moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

And my personal favorite

moar funny pictures

That's Alan Greenspan.....google it bitches.

I Love Joan Rivers

2008-10-13T12:55:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was watching LOGO and a Joan Rivers Special is on. I lover watching Logo late at night because people actually curse. Anyway, audience members were able to ask questions and Joan would respond.
I just want to let you know that I have been a fan of Joan Rivers since I was a kid. I used to stay up and watch her late night show because I used to just love watching her. I also have to point out that I somehow make connections with older jewish women. They tend to be really smart-assed women with a great sense of humor and they really don't give a shit who gets pissed off about what they say. Anyway, one thing that really impressed me about this particular show was that she mentioned that one thing she always does is tell the truth. I really respect her for telling the truth because it can be very difficult for people to do.
In honor of Joan Rivers I'm going to be honest with you. I've had a drinking problem. I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic, but when I do drink I drink too much and in a few cases, this has gotten me in some trouble. In other cases (by the grace of God) I've narrowly stayed out of trouble. Last week I decided to ask for help from a few friends and was happy to see they were willing to be available for me to do things that don't involve going to a bar.

Thank you Joan Rivers, your honesty helped me.

PS-My first performance as a member of the Laveen Baptist Church Choir is this coming Sunday. I'm REALLY excited!

People Are Stupid

2008-10-08T15:45:00.000-07:00

I really get irritated with people who walk slow.

Apparently, so does this guy.

Flagstaff 10's

2008-10-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

I was up very early in the morning to ride up to Flagstaff with Tony, Ling-Ling (Brian) and Kevin (token straight guy). We left Phoenix at about 4:40am. It was cold and windy in Flagstaff and I played the second half of the first game and all of the other two games. The first game sucked in the first half and it looked like I may have been in a fight with one of the guys on the other team. I don't know what it is, but I'm not sure if it suprises guys on other teams when they are ready for a fight and I jump right back in their face. I don't know if they think that because we're a gay team that we're going back off when they get pissed off. Now, I don't go looking for fights, but when you grow up ghetto, you NEVER show that you are afraid of someone else.
Anyway, we lost that game, but we did score.
The second game was against a team of firefighters from somewhere in Nevada. I wonder how it was they were even able to play in our division. They were really good. I guess I have to look on the bright side, that playing better teams makes you have to get better. We scored in this game too. This was when it started raining. By the end of the game, my shoes and socks were soaked. After the end of the game, my adrenaline level went way down and I was freezing, it was so called, my testicles ascended. I was REALLY cold. I endedup sitting in Tony's car until he came and got me to tell me it was time for the next game. I told him I didn't think I could play an other game, it was so cold. He offered to let me use an extra pair of socks he had (that were dry).
I only had time to change one sock when our coach said the game was about to start. That one dry sock made all the difference in the world. At one point, I prayed that it would get warmer, Dear Jesus, I can't do this, please make it warmer. Well, halfway through the game, it stopped raining and the clouds broke. So much better. We didn't win that last game either, but we did score. We didn't to all that great at this tournament, but we did a hell of a lot better than the last time we were there and that's what really mattered to me. It also mattered that Simon told me that when he put me on the field, it made an immediate difference.

It's nice to be appreciated.

People Are Stupid

2008-10-03T10:39:00.000-07:00

On the way to work, I came to a normally low-traffic street. The street was backed up an entire block. As the traffic started moving, I saw that two people were having a conversation from their cars, in the middle of the street.

People are Stupid

2008-10-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

It annoys when I go to a food place to get something to eat and someone in front me waits until they get to the front of the line to read the menu. Usually it's a woman (call me sexist if you want, but this is observation).

Can't these people read the menu when they're staring off into space DOING NOTHING?

I Hope, I Hope, I Hope

2008-10-02T12:20:00.000-07:00

This weekend is going to be NUTS-ASS KRAZY. Like that guy from South Side Posse who would stand outside of the school fence while I was at band practice and yell at us to shut the fuck up. I hope that provided you with the type crazy I'm aiming to convey.
So Friday, I hope to get some new lugs for my cleats because I hand't tightened them in three practices and they wore in such a way that when I tightened them, every footstep was just painful enough to make me want to wear my backs' cleats.

Aluminum lugs + Phoenix dirt = ow, ow, ow and bruises on the bottom of my feet. Yes, think about it.

That's really all I have planned. I wanted to take my neice to the artwalk, but since I have to leave early Saturday morning for Flagstaff, I'll probably sleep instead.
Saturday is the 10's Tournament in Flagstaff. We'll probably play three games, but since 10's games are only 20 minutes with a one minute break in between, it's still less than a full 15's match. Well, I'll be riding with Tony and Jay (and probably Brian) up and back that day. Sunday, church, then the Rainbows Festival for work and then choir practice Sunday night.
The only thing that kind of concerns me about Saturday is a tear in my hamstring. It feels like it's healed, but I'm still a little worried that it's been a little tight and may re-tear.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted on how we do.

Damn Hook-Up Sites

2008-09-30T12:18:00.001-07:00

I don't know if I'd mentioned this in a previous blog.
A month ago, I was seeing a guy and then I didn't hear from him for about two weeks. Two weeks is my marker for "we're not seeing each other any more." (It's a fair enough amount of time for someone to let me know what's going on.) Moving on, I was at a friends house when he said, "Let's see who's on Adam4Adam.com." For those of you who don't know, it's a gay hook up site. Anyway, we were flipping through profiles when we come across one. "That's the guy I'm seeing," I said, "well, I guess I'm not seeing him now."
Honestly, we hand't committed to each other, so under normal circumstances I would have been totally ok with it. When you say something like that around your friends, there is no turning back. I mean, you can say stuff like that around SOME of your VERY closest friends, you know, the ones that KNOOOOW what YOU DIIIIIIID last summer. One of them in my company was not one such friend.
Cut to Sunday night. Oh, by the way, I joined my church choir, but more about that later. On my way home from choir practice, I stopped at an other friend's house. Somehow Adam4adam.com came up again. "Oh, guess what?" he says. "I saw (insert ex's name here) and (insert ex's new boyfriend here) on Adam4Adam.com." Now I didn't let it bother me because I was in such shock that this particular ex would even consider such a thing. When I was with him, he just could not understand why ANYBODY could do something like that when they already have a boyfriend, somewhat to my disappointment....but I digress. I understand that was a long time ago and the both of us have changed considerably.
Later, I mentioned to him that I don't know why that bothered me. He suggested because it was because I thought they had the perfect relationship and it upset me that even they hook up. At this point I was irritated that someone I've known for fifteen years thinks I'm so ignorant to think that the perfect relationship even exists. I didn't tell him that, I also didn't tell him that what really upset me was the fact that I really didn't want to know that. It's none of my business. Honestly, "Why on God's green earth would I want to know that my ex and his boyfriend are on a gay hook up sight?"
I guess being around people who like to gossip sometimes bites you in the ass. Want to see the marks it left?

Just kidding.

Monroe Transfer

2008-09-22T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've heard of a lot of stuff in my life and when people usually tell me about sexual stuff that's unconventional, I usually laugh because I have a sick sense of humor. Today I came across a term that was just gross: Monroe Transfer

According to UrbanDictionary.com:
monroe transfer 273 up, 15 down
When one person sticks a tube in their ass and then sticks it in someone else's ass and shits in their ass.

GROSS......Serious....that's just nasty.

Who does things like?

I guess it follows a saying I have, "If you can imagine it, someone's into it."

yuck.

My Shirts and Skins Blog on myspace.com/sportsoutloud

2008-09-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

I know I'm not a journalist, but here is my blog on Shirts and Skins on Logo that is posted on www.myspace.com/sportsoutloud.

Unfortunately, I missed it on Monday, but caught the rerun this weekend. I was really impressed by how well this was done. From what I gathered, this was REAL reality. Snaps to the crew for making this so believable. Most reality shows do have that staged feeling to them. In this case, I felt that was going on, really happened without too much direction from the makers of this documentary/reality show.
On to the show.
It opens with Mike giving a brief history of the Rockdogs (I thought this was really cool) and makes mention of the four gold medals the team has won at the Gay Games (pretty impressive). Then he goes on to mention that after their last gold in 2006, the team kind of started to fall apart. The focus of the show is their preparation for the 2008 National Gay Championship in Chicago.
Mike goes on to talk about how they're all being brought back together two weeks before the championship in a training house obtained by some of the former Rockdogs players.
Next we see the guys practicing and meet Alex and "Papa Joe", the coach and team manager, respectively. Alex emphasizes that there were people who were around for him when he moved to San Francisco and that his part in the team is to "pay it forward" for the next group of players. Papa Joe is more focused on the fact this they are not just a team, but a family. From the beginning, we get that Papa Joe really is the heart of the team. He's their cheerleader and their mentor. He appears to have quite a bit of wisdom to impart on these young men.
We also got to see something many people don't think about when they think about gay sports, the business side. We get to the Rockdogs first team meeting. Rory points out that there are many other teams out there want to defeat them. He wants to make sure they know there is major work to be done and that their wins aren't going to be something that just happens because they show up. They also have a little bit of discussion about their opponents. Papa Joe lets them know that they have to work to raise some money, in addition to work they have to do on the court. As we all know, travel is expensive and this is a group of people that will be traveling together. Prostitution anyone? We also get a little bit of foreshadowing about the maturity levels of some of the players, at this point.
A conversation between Rory and Jamel follows. Rory appears to be doing what friends do, listen and help you figure things out, but Jamel is being pretty vague about things. They both mention how important family is to both of them. Jamel transitions the conversation to Mike jumping on him while he was "slumbering" the night before.
We then get a little more about Jamonce (Jamel). Mike tells us that he loves attention, and he appears to be right. He's also very clear that the rest of them enjoy this because it's pretty good entertainment. And then, it gets serious. Jamel is out on the balcony with some of the guys reading the Bible. Rory proceeds to ask if Jamel thinks being gay is a choice and he responds by saying, "Trust me, it's a choice," with a look that supports his confidence in his opinion. Rory seems very disturbed and possibly offended by his remarks (which are understandable) and of few of the others players appear to be troubled. Chris however, is very calm in stating that Jamel is very young and remembers himself at that age and understands that Jamel is going to figure things out in his own time. What wisdom! I and a friend of mine thought it peculiar that a gay team would have such a low level of tolerance for someone's opinions; when people are passionate about what they believe, this is to be expected.
Hmmm....I wonder if Chris is going to be the voice of reason in a few other situations.
Papa Joe shows up a little later and Rory takes him to where Rory keeps his things. He shows Papa Joe Jamel's Bible and tells him about the conversation from earlier. This leads Papa Joe to engage Jamel about his beliefs. The conversation goes nowhere and Joe seems even more frustrated than he would have been if he'd have just left it alone.
In the second half of the show, we get to how the Rockdogs really play. Initially there is some concern about the Fire Department, their opponents. Pete's impression is that the Fire Department will be exactly like some of the other gay teams they will be playing in Chicago, while Mike worries that DeMarco's absence will affect them negatively. "We gonna lose," is the sentiment given by Jamel, which (understandably) frustrates Mike.
Well, after seeing this game, you can see that these guys can really play and have a considerable amount of talent. At the half, the Dogs were ahead and their focus was on defense. The Fire Department looked as though they less confident and more frustrated. They beat the Fire Department (a pretty imposing team) with a score of 129-95. Pete's felt he could see in their faces that they weren't very happy to lose to a gay team. At this point, Papa Joe feels much more confident about the team.
Note to Pete: ROSS!?!?!?
DeMarco makes his arrival after the game. Everyone seems very happy to see him except for his cousin, Jay. Maybe we'll find out a little more about that later.
Oddly enough, we catch the team praying at dinner. Interesting.....
Coach Alex then talks to the players about the game and there is discussion about how the game went. Papa Joe shares his frustrations and demands the players respect their coach and have more confidence in what he's doing. On the side, Jay and Jamel have an argument that escalating and getting more and more out of hand until Chris becomes emotional about the lack of respect some players have for each other and how little the fighting gets accomplished. The episode ends with Chris saying, "For what, for what?"

Practice Day #2

2008-09-19T13:42:00.000-07:00

Last night was our second practice of the regular season. I made, I don't know how and I did. I even managed to get through the entire practice without barfing. The forwards coach, Aime, usually judges how tough practice is by how many times I throw up (kind of a joke, but kind of not).
I was really happy to see so many of the new guys from Tuesday's practice returned.
I have to say, I'm very impressed with Simon, the new forwards coach. He's able to point out little nuances about the game that we may not have figured out on our own. He also told me I was doing a good job. It's nice to be acknowledged.
One thing I will say about him is he has a VERY VERY thick Irish accent and at times, it's hard not to imagine Fat Bastard saying some of the things he says. Like when he told us to catch the ball with our hands, "not with your chest, or your belly, or your love handles." I know it doesn't convey very well in text form, but to hear him say it is pretty damn funny.

Back to Rugby

2008-09-17T15:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our first practice of the rugby pre-season. I have to tell you I was REALLY happy to get back. I was very worried that I would be really out of shape, but I surprised myself. I was in better shape than I imagined. I thought I lost everything I'd worked up to last season, but that this not to be the case.

We have a new coach and sometimes it's funny listening to him because he has an Irish accent. His coaching is completely serious, though.

I can't wait to see what kind of shape he's going to whip me into later this season. Maybe I'll post pictures......maybe.

Mexican Word of the Day

2008-08-27T15:48:00.000-07:00

Mexican Word of the Day: Ideal.

That beesh down the street came over and wanted some coke, but I told her, "Pendeja, ideal pot!"

Mexican Word of the Day

2008-08-14T16:23:00.001-07:00

Mexican word of the day:

Carbon Dioxide

I bought my vieja a jewelry box that was lined with velvet on the inside and La Virgen the Guadalupe carbon dioxide.

I Love My Job

2008-08-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

I really like my workplace because, as I mentioned when I worked at Charles Schwab, I'm an HR nightmare!

I love the fact that I can walk up to the 60+ lady at the front desk (who just went to Canada for her son's gay wedding) that she doesn't have any band-aids left because she used them all on her lavial rejuvenation.

I also like the fact at least once every day I say something to my boss, to which he responds, "I hate you."

Hummus

2008-08-08T14:51:00.003-07:00

Don't have hummus for lunch on any day you're taking psyllium husk.

Just an FYI.

All this for lunch.

2008-08-08T12:47:00.000-07:00

(Unnamed friend will be referenced as "UF")

Me: You at work today?
UF: Yes
Me: Have you had lunch yet?
UF: No
Me: Can you have pizza?
UF: Been trying to stick to a diet but it depends on what kind of pizza I suppose...
Me: What do you want to have?
UF: I'm open. Tell me what your thinking and I'll tel you if I like it or not. LOl
Me: I don't like how that works
UF: Well I don't know what to say
Me: How about I go to Venezia's for pizza and if you want something else you can go somewhere else (suggesting I'm going to lunch by myself and screw you).
UF: Where is that? And what is around it?
Me: Southern and Mill, next to LA Fitness
UF: OH. There's nothing really over there. Have fun with the pizza! :-)
Me: Ok (exasperated he didn't get my screw you reference).
UF: Sorry buddy. I'm up for meeting up. But I can't think of any place for me to eat around there.
Me: Pita Jungle
UF: Yeah I could do that. I think they have pizza there too (side note: not the kind of pizza I want).
Me: OK what time.........

From 6:30-10:30 I will be busy

2008-08-08T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am super-giddy about the olympics opening ceremonies tonight that I've already told a few people not to bother me or ask me to meet them out while it's on. I have been waiting to see the opening ceremonies since the closing ceremonies of the last olympics in Greece when the named where the next ones would be held.

I want to see the costumes, performances and stuff. I will have my eyes GLUED to the TV to see the acrobats and dancers. I'm even excited there may even be Chinese opera singers (which is totally odd).

I'm also really excited about the gymnastics and swimming events and I want to see if Dara Torres wins gold again in her 40's.

Wrestling...hehehe.....yeah, I'll be watching that too, and powerlifting....track and field.....I can't wait....

Work It

2008-07-25T12:21:00.000-07:00

I received a post on my myspace page from Orlando earlier this week and ever since then I've been showing it to everyone I possiblly can.

Jackie Hell Cracks my shit up.

Well, It's been a very long time since I've blogged so I guess it's time for me to do it again. I have a very good reason, I met someone on Tuesday. He's a tall blonde guy from Detroit. I had a very good time hanging out with him on Tuesday. If you can believe it, he's even more out of control than me. Really.
Last night he said he might be out at Charlies. I ended up meeting him there. We had a lot of fun. He works for US Airways and was pointing out all these people who were flight attendants that he used to work with or knew or works with now. This led me to observe the fact that there are a lot of flight attendants at gay bars at any given time.
Anyway, I just realized that he kind of reminds me of Dane Cook.

Ooh Oooh Ooh Ooh Oooohhhh......

2008-06-29T15:55:00.000-07:00

I got a New Attitude.
Hey Everyone, the brace came off last Wednesday!!! I really enjoyed the two days without them. What sucked is that I went back Friday to get my retainer for my upper teeth and my permanent retainer for my lower teeth.
In those two days my teeth started moving back, so the orthodontist told me to wear my retainer that day. Luckily, I was given a retainer that looks like invisalign, which was kind of cool. What wasn't cool was when I woke up the next morning and felt like I was donkey punched in the face. Not nice.

Friday, hey.....or something.

2008-06-27T20:55:00.000-07:00

I made it through an other month and while I could say it was lackluster, I'd prefer to say it was a great month. I WAS a great month, I have a home and not only that, but I was able to help someone who was about to be in my postion. I am so grateful for the fact that someone helped me and I was able to help someone else. I am also grateful that I can type very fast, so that it doesn't take very long to write my blogs.
Last weekend, I was shopping with my mom to get stuff for the house and she decided she wanted a new bed set. She saw something that was a chocolate brown and light blue and decided that was what she should have. Well, what we saw ran about $200 bucks, so she decided to get curtains instead. It was a total score because we found some one clearance for about $20 a panel. She got those, but we got the wrong size, my dad measure our sliding door from the wrong place. Well, we went back the next day and had to go to a different store that had the length we needed. Once we found the curtains, my mother decided to see what bed sets they had on sale. We ended up find a bed set she wanted for $30. Serious. I even got one too, but not in the same color. I also decided to try Kinoki foot pads. Yeah, I know, I'll let you know if they work or not.

We've Moved In

2008-06-13T13:42:00.001-07:00

So this week, we finally closed on the house. I'm so happy to no longer be homeless. It's a great feeling. I'm also very happy to be around my parents again. I started a new workout regimen, P90X. It's pretty darn awesome, I think it's really going to whip my butt into shape. I did yesterday's and today's workouts and I'm excited to see how I look come September. I feel so good about myself having some the two workouts.

On a side note, I've gone to lunch with my friend Mike, a few times. Mike is a friend of mine who's had some pretty bad luck in the last few years. It came up in coversation that he looked up an old friend who had once emailed him to tell him they would no longer be friends. I mentioned how that happens to him more than with anybody else I know. It's like his friends are in third grade telling him they don't want to be his friend anymore. Mike is a 52-year old white gay male with a body that must have been carved by the hand of God. He's not obvious about his sexuality, in fact, if I didn't know him so well, I would doubt he were gay at all. Mike is regular guy. He enjoys fitness and loves exercising.
On Tuesday, Mike was telling me that a straight friend of his was starting a new "business opportunity." I told him it sounds like something for which I would see a paper sign by the side of the road that sits about 3" above the ground. "Work from home!" One of those things. Mike said that he was glad we were going to lunch because it got him out of his friend's presentation. He said he'd told this guy that he couldn't meet him because he was meeting someone else. The guy told him to bring me along. Mike told the guy that he didn't think I would be interested in it. He was right.

Anyway, Mike later sends me the following email (I did get his permission first):

Hi Alfonzo,
I'm beginning to think everybody in the world is a little crazy. You know my friend Jason that wanted to talk to me about "getting rich quick" and wanted to involve you this moring over lunch? He comes over my house about an hour ago. It tuns out he's involved in a multi-level marketing scheme. A pyramid. You sign up to this "Bio-Gen" company, which only exists online, and give them your credit card number. They automatically enroll you for a $60 deduction for a bottle of "colon-cleaner" or some other odd health pill that you're required to buy and gets sent to you each month Now your job is to sign up 3 people. They sign up 3 people and you get a $1,110 Visa prepaid card every month. That's your commission. If you sign up more than 3 people they take out $120 from your account and you get a VISA card for $2,000 minus $120. But they are only gift cards. You can't withdraw cash out of a gift-card, which is what I tried to tell Jason.You can't invest that money in a !RA account. You can't take it out for cash in an emergency.
He got mad at me and said "Are you trying to tell me that you can't use a VISA card with $1,100 on it each month to buy things? I told him, no, frankly the money would be much more beneficial to me if it were cash in my account. I earned it. Why can't I have it that way? And what company makes me pay "them" each month before I get my commissoin check? I can't pay my mortgage with a credit card. I can't pay my utilities with a gift card, etc.. I can't invest that money or pay down my bank loan. It's like buying one of the credit cards in a grocery store as a gift for someone. That's nice and all but not useful unless you have something specific to buy with it. AND it's all taxed 50% at the end of the year!
Jason, got real mad at me. I could see his face getting red. He unplugged his computer, told me I was so skeptical and negative he doesn't know why he even bothered coming by! Then he slammed his laptop shut and stormed out of the house without even saying a word. It is me! I'm convinced! I'm going on Oprah or Dr. Phil to talk about my unique human experience in my ability to alienate people.
My question is this: Can I count this experience as another kiss-off email from a friend like I'm so used to getting since it was in person and not via email??? LOL.! Man, I give! I'll tell you this...the more I'm around people the more I love my dog = )

MIKE

My Response:

I think you attract wierdos.

Can I post this on my blog?

I Only Waited a Week This Time

2008-05-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

The week is finally over and I am so glad for it. We are surprisingly not going out of our minds with our upcoming swimsuit issue. Everything is lined up and in order, including the swimsuits and models. Everything is running so smoothly.

Last weekend my clutch went out, I think. I would step on the gas and the car was very slow to get moving. I'm thinking it's only going to cost like, $200 to fix. I was WRONG! Try $550! Oh well, life goes on, but I had to find a car I could drive in the meantime. Luckily my very good friend Tony offered to let me drive his car until I get mine fixed (he never god rid of his old car). It's pretty good on gas, so I have something to be greatful for.

More GOOD NEWS! My mom signed the title paperwork on her house today and she can probably get the keys to the house on Tuesday! I'm so glad because she's really been stressing out staying at my brother's house. I only lasted three days there before I finally went nuts (the kids are so loud). I now see how people can go crazy and kill an entire family. I feel a lot better because this was a huge stress on my mother, and the house is REALLY nice. Granite slab countertops, 8ft high doors, upgraded hardware, 42" cabinets. It's amazing! I will be so happy to be back with them again. To be completely honest, I really started to miss everyone.

I have my new haircut. After watching it grow out of control, my mom finally couldn't handle it any more and cut it (maybe she was just bored, a combination of both?). Anyway, I'll have a new picture up as soon as I can.

Have a great weekend and keep you outlook positive!

Sorry, I know It's Been a While, Again

2008-05-24T14:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very good about writing lately, but I've been staying with a friend of mine since my foreclosure and he doesn't have internet access at home. I'm also not the type to go and hangout at Starbucks just to use the internet. Could be that coffee gives me gas and I don't drink it very often so there's not the option of sitting there with coffee. Anyway, my parents (who lived with me) are in the process of buying a house, and believe it or not, it's even way nicer than the one we moved out of.
The last month has been kind of strange, Rick (the friend (I'm staying with), has been really good about me staying in his house, but his rabbit hasn't been very happy that I've taken his room. This weekend, Rick's sister came to visit from Colorado. She and her husband are very nice people and I really enjoyed chatting with them. Still, it's a little difficult being in someone else's house.
After three weeks apart from my family, I started to miss them a lot. I ended up spending the better part of last weekend at my brother's house, where my mom and dad are staying in the meantime. My mother is starting to feel really stressed out about being in someone else's house. I really don't blame her and to be completely honest, I miss her the most. I am at my older sister's house today because she was in an accident this morning and that's where my mother's been.

On the bright side, things are looking up at work and since I've last posted, I've finished reading the first five books of the bible, which were written by Moses. I've also read Joshua, Judges, Ruth and started reading I Samuel today. I've really learned a lot about my readings. I've found that God does not expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to try. I just wish my trying was more effective.

Long Time No Hear

2008-04-23T16:18:00.000-07:00

I actually wrote this blog on Monday, but didn't post it until now.

Today, Buddy (the editor where I work) mentioned something about sending some magazines to Ted (our former editor, who now works for GLAAD). The last time Ted called, I told Buddy to ask Ted why is it the first time I hear anything from Ted in months is when he wants something. Ted, of course, was on the phone when I said this and I said it loud enough for Ted to hear me say it. Today, I mentioned Ted never emailed me the address to send the magazines. Ted said that Buddy told him I got all bitchy about it. I told Ted that he knows me and that it was only 25% bitchy and the rest was smart ass. I also told Ted that he would have to email me directly and not tell someone else to ask me to do it.

Here is a bit about the weekend.

Last Friday was my best friend Gary’s 30th birthday. Now, he can’t talk about how he’s younger than me, because now he is in his thirties, too. So I went and met him and Chris and another friend of theirs before the Margaret Cho show. I didn’t get to see her because I didn’t know if I’d have the money for the tickets at the time. I also had a friend who worked at Chase Field find out if he could get them for free. He forgot to do this. I missed Margaret and that sucks.
I and Joseph ended up going to get something to eat. He was happy because he found another job and starts on Tuesday. After we ate, we met Gary at Amsterdam. Chris was not with him. Apparently they had a disagreement and Chris took off walking. They had they had both been drinking and were not in their right minds (if they in fact have “right minds”). Later I get a call from Gary that Chris left him walking at 7th Ave & Southern. I was on the way from Amsterdam to Cellblock and had to turn around and go pick Gary up. By the time I got to where he was, he was about a half mile from someone’s house where he wanted me to take him. I thought I might kill him. I told I already drove all the way from downtown because he wanted a ride home and that’s where I was going to take him. Then he told me that he’s just going to turn and go back to where he was. I told him then he can get himself there, FROM HOME. At the intersection of 27th Ave & Baseline he told me he was going to get out of the car (I have a ’98 Mitsubishi Eclipse and he was in the back seat, this was impossible) and he motioned for the door. At this point I turn around in a very paternal voice I told him, “SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP AND I DON’T WANT TO HEAR A DAMN WORD FROM YOU UNTIL WE GET BACK TO YOUR HOUSE.” I didn’t think that would work, but it worked. Unfortunately it made Joseph VERY uncomfortable. It made me feel a LOT better.

I'll Miss You Grito

2008-04-16T11:36:00.000-07:00

Monday, I had to be completely out of my house. I had to move all my things by myself because my parents were already done moving everything else. I really am ok over losing the house and I've really been able to keep my head on straight. I was until my told me my dad isn't going to want the dog at the new house they move to. Then my brother told me I couldn't keep the dog at his house (you're welcome for those months you lived at my house rent free and didn't work).
I ended up trying to find a home for my dog on the very last day I had to be in the house before it went up for auction. So we tried my aunt who said she wanted a dog before, but they said they couldn't take him. Then we tried a friend of my mom's who kept mentioning her brother in law who really wanted a dog, but when we asked them, he had to check with his wife and apparently, they didn't want him.
My brother's girlfriend ended finding out that her sister in law wanted a new dog because the one they had wanted to attack their baby. My dog wouldn't do that, so it sounded like a good fit.
I wasn't there when they came to get him at my brother's house and it's a good thing I wasn't because I probably would have broken down and started crying. Since then it's about the only thing that I've been upset about with the whole situtation. Last night, I finally had that breakdown. I tried to sleep, but woke up a couple of times. I'll miss my dog quite a bit, but I take comfort in the fact that he has a good home.
On the bright side, I'm really in a position of freedom where I have essentially nothing tying me down.

HOORAY FOR FREEDOM!

What a mess

2008-04-11T14:53:00.001-07:00

Last night, my parents decided we'd move out of the house this weekend. I've been trying to find a place to stay in case I don't feel right infringing on my brother. Fortunately, I'm blessed with some great friends who have offered to let me stay with them in the meantime. Tonight, we're supposed to go look at some houses, my mother and my sister are going to get one (since my credit is now in the toilet). Anyway, I'm getting ready to go to work this morning and I get a call from my mom while she's at work. She told me that my dad just called her and said he's leaving her. I told her I would talk to her later because she was at work and I had to get going. I told my dad I would see him later on my way out and he didn't say anything.
On the way to work, I started thinking about how harsh that was. I mean, she had only been at work for a couple of hours and he did it over the phone. So my mother has to work through the rest of her day after getting a phone call from my dad that he's leaving her (it's my step-dad by the way). I'm guessing he'll go stay with one of my step-sisters or one of his sisters. I just can't believe he didn't wait for her to get home from work before telling her this. Maybe this was his way of telling her he'd be gone. After 18 years. I didn't see this coming at all.
Before this, I was considering this might be a great time for me to focus on getting out on my own again, and rebuilidng myself and some more independence. Maybe it will still work out that way. I don't want my mom to move out and be by herself. If she does get her own place, I'm the only one in our family that could go with her. Maybe things work out the way they're supposed to and I should just give it a rest.

Maybe it's time for me to find a second job, too.

Did you miss me?

2008-04-10T15:25:00.001-07:00

Of course you did. I've been preoccupied with my foreclosure. I was working on going to Dublin to play rugby this summer but decided it's a frivolous expense. Maybe it'll still work out, but it's one less thing for me to worry about. I've been worried about where I'm going to get the money to pay for the flight and the stay and now that I've decided not to do it, I feel like I've lost twenty pounds (if only it REALLY worked that way). That's off my chest.....moving on....

I was feeling really tired this week and decided I need to get myself out of that mindspace. I didn't work out and I started eating sugary crap that isn't good for me. It wasn't a LOT of sugary stuff, but the fact that I did it at all was a problem in my mind. This morning I was even starting to wonder if I was depressed. Wouldn't you know it, on the way to work, I get a call from Michael Losier. Seriously, I'd mentioned him before, he's a law of attraction guru. Whenever I speak to him, it always get my mind right (in addition to my bible readings). Today he told me about something called Emotional Freedom Techinique. He asked me if I knew tanything about it and I mentioned that the only thing I knew about it was that a friend of mine looked rediculous when he does it (think polynesian witch doctor looking movements). Anyway, he talked me through it and my mental state moved from negative to neutral. Trust me, this is very positive because negative sucks! We're supposed to talk again in about 15 minutes.

What else is going on......uhhh....I didn't do shite last weekend because I kind of hurt my back, but I won't go into that or how it happened. Better you don't know.

My friend Joseph came over last night because he wanted to tan and he mentioned he has an interview with Terminex. He asked if I had a dress shirt he could borrow. I decided if he needed a dress shirt, he may need more. I asked what else he was wearing, by time he left, I decided he need to borrow a pair of pants and shoes as well. He's a really sweet guy, but I worried he wouldn't be taken seriously enough at his interview if he were dressed the way he was going to.

For now that's all. I hope to have something a little more fun to read in the future.

This Commercial is Just Wrong

2008-04-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

I just saw this today on a mediapost email I'd received. It's a Burger King commercial for cheesy tots.

Like I said, it's just wrong.

DAMN IT!

I couldn't embed, here is the link:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8NETmernV-o

This weekend and my sore butt

2008-04-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

This weekend was quite a busy one. I did something on Friday night but at this time it escapes me. Hmmm......Anyway...Saturday was our second game against Yuma. Yuma is a team of straight guys, many of which are actively serving Marines (get you head out the gutter, if they were actively serving....never mind). They game was probably our best one against a straight team. I did have a problem though. My sprained wrist never completely healed and I decided I'd try to play. I managed to play five minutes. My wrist sprain took a hit when we were doing warm ups and I taped it so tight, I couldn't use it during the game. It was disappointing because I REALLY wanted to play this game. I guess I'll have to wait until we play Thunderbird again, which I'm not excited about because games against them always get ugly.
Anyway, off to the drink up. I had a lot of fund and Tony brought me some 3 Vodka. I didn't particularly care for it, but Shane (a half-Filipino, half-Irish friend of mine) said it was "Nice." Its vodka made from soy isolates. On a side note, Shane is from a part of the world that eats soy pretty often and he was in a college fraternity, so it's possible the combination of alcohol and soy may have been all he needed. Hehe....I know you'll get the joke, Shane.
I later went to hang out with Gary at the Spur Lounge in Laveen. I walked in in my rugby stuff and baseball cap on backwards, so the people he was with didn't recognize me right away. One of the owners came over and told me I had to turn my cap around. It ended up coming off and on for the whole night. I ended up doing a couple of songs on karaoke; Gary always wants me to do Scissor Sisters when I'm at Karaoke with him. What can I say, I have a tremendous falsetto. We ended up checking out the Silver Pony later on, but couldn't stay because I didn't bring my ID with me. Ooops.....

Sunday was Dancing with the Bars by Sway Events. It was a benefit for One Voice Community Center and it sold out. I was there representing Sports Out Loud and was given star treatment. I had a great time and the event was much better than what I expected (considering I didn't know WHAT to expect).
Of all the performers, JoJo from Amsterdam did the best job. She really kicked ass, so I HAD to vote for her. Congratulations JoJo. I also ran into Rocco. I've known him for a few years, he used to date a friend of mine; I still consider him a friend. He's always been very friendly and I do have to admit I enjoy his company.
I later ran into Andy (can't remember last name, but formerly of Matt and Andy). It was great to see him. He was in a VERY good mood and I had a great time hanging around with him and his friend (whose name escapes me, hmmm, this happens often).

I ended up finishing the night at Gary's house watching weeds.

So about this sore butt of mine. Tony and I changed our workouts again and it involved super setting. Reverse squats, sumo deadlifts, reverse decline squats, lunges, seated legs curls and leg extensions. I was walking like I had leg braces on by the time we were halfway through, but I did manage to hit that anabolic hot spot! I love that feeling. One thing that does happen which I don't like, is that I always get paranoid that I'm passing gas when I'm doing legs. I probably am. What can I do? I can act like someone else did it, that's what I can do.

Today, my butt is starting to feel sore and I have practice tonight. On the bright side, maybe I'll get all that lactic acid out.

PS-Please don't kill me coach Aime, I did legs last night and running is hard for bitches over 200 pounds.

Chongalicious

2008-03-28T17:57:00.000-07:00

The Chonga: 1. hair tied together like a ponytail, usually at the top of a hispanic (usually mexican) girl's head.

2. A hispanic girl (usually hanging around Echo Park or some other location near dwelling places of many Hispanics, like Miami, or Phoenix, or the Bronx) who wear her hair in a chonga.

I was at our Storm Car Wash last Saturday when an old frat brother of mine, Andy, mentioned a video on youtube call Chongalicious. It reminded me of grade and high school when all the girl had their bangs curled over their foreheads or split down the middle or completely pulled back with the rest of their hair, which was slicked back into a ponytail on top of or near the back of the top of their head. My little sister was really the only one of my sisters who was guilty of this offense. Then again, she used to wear sweats and t-shirts to school every day. I guess she saw no reason to hide from guys what they were going to get in ten year's time. It could have also been that she was prone to getting into fights (usually with more than one person at the same time).

This one goes out to all my chongas locas cruisin' at the Car Show.

Damn It, Jay!

2008-03-27T14:32:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week I decided I should stop working out with Tony because it's at midnight and screws up my sleep and makes me late for work all the time. I've yet to tell him this, though. Anyway, I've been getting to work late everyday and my boss hasn't really said much about it, but I know it bugs him like mad.
Last night I decide to skip my late night workout and go to bed super early, like 8pm. I fell asleep and that was great! Come 9:30PM a text message wakes me up:

FYI Dublin gay pride run June 13-22

Woohoo!
_____________________________
From: Jay

Here is my thought when I wake up...GRRR.....

I tried to get back to sleep and couldn't. I decided I would take a Zyrtec because they always put me to sleep. I took one of those around 11PM. Still no sleep. Around midnight, I decide to make some chamomile tea. At this p0int, I found that "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" was on Turner Classic Movies so it wasn't a total disappointment. I Didn't realize Balenciaga had been around since the 50's (or before). By 1AM I decided to make some more chamomile tea. Still no sleep. Hey there's Marylin Monroe performing "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend." "Tiffany's, Cartier, Harry Winston......," that's been stuck in my head all morning. Actually made start thinking about that 2 carat, very high-quality diamond I've been wanting........a big, TACKY diamond.....back to my story. I finally fall asleep around 2am and when I wake up this morning I DID NOT WANT TO GET UP. I finally got my ass out of bed around 10 am and didn't make it to work by noon. By this time I'm thinking boss man is going to kill me......he didn't.....at least not today.

I should have just gone to the gym.

African Booty Scratcher

2008-03-26T18:21:00.001-07:00

Today, I was watching TV and was trying to find something to watch. I came across HBO signature and saw "African Booty Scratcher." I went about an other channel further when I wondered if I was what I really thought I saw. I went back and I was right. My mind didn't deceive me. Turns out it was a pretty decent short film about a girl from West Africa who had to choose a prom dress to please her mother's roots as well as please her American tastes. In the end, she comes out in this really cool green dress that mixes the two. You may say the dress was hideous, but as any drag queen (or Christian Siriano) might tell you, it was FIERCE!

On a side note, I was listening to the radio and heard something about "Find out how you can enter to win a Laura Ashley inspired PT Cruiser." I'm getting rigor mortis death chills just thinking about how that might look. Either one is pretty repulsive on their own.

Mama Cass, Mama Cass

2008-03-25T13:54:00.000-07:00

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3sO46RqQNuE

My title makes me think of Mama Cass son from "Beautiful Thing." The only exception is I'm wearing a my mother's bright yellow panty hose on my head in place of a blonde wig, just like Leah. "Don't ever let the light leeeeeave you."

Today I had an other coaching session with Micheal Losier. I think I'll refer to him as Mike, now. I was so nervous on that phone call. As I mentioned before, he has a show with Oprah, so that means he must be highly influential and wealthy. He told me to think of him as a friend. Considering what he is doing for me, he definitely is a friend. He would have to be to keep offering his very expensive services for free. Anyway, he helped me refocus my energy on things that I want by being greatful for the things that I already have and to remember that I am constantly receives "abundances" on a consistent basis. Well, by the time I got off the phone call I felt like my skin was going to explode right off my body, my enery was so focused. He even asked if I had a partner. I said no, he said say to yourself, I have the perfect partner. He then told me I have to believe what I am saying. I mentioned I think of myself at the perfect partner and he told me that was a whole different problem altogether. I decided to change my thoughts, and focus on attracting more personal wealth. I am very greatful to have received what I received today. Tomorrow I will have even more that I have today.

On to Jay's birthday dinner. That was FUN! Jay, Tony's partner (my workout partner and rugby teammate) turned 43 yesterday. Incidently, it was also Joan Crawford's 100th birthday. At point someone asked how old Mike was and I suggested counting the rings around his butthole. There were also a few sad queens sitting at the table behind us and they really had nothing of value to say about anything. We were all very happy when they left.
Oh, did I mention how Jay HATES having happy birthday sung to him. Well, they did it. And earlier when the server asked for his name, I told them it was Va-Jay-Jay. So when they sang to him they sung happyt birthday to Jay-Jay. He HATED, and that made the rest of us SO happy.

Once again, Happy Birthday, here's to becoming a crusty old queen!

Shut Up and Do It

2008-03-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

Today, I had a wonderful conversation with superstar Law of Attraction Pracitioner Michael Losier. He has a show on the Oprah Station on XM Radio. He usually charges $500 for a coaching session, but since I attracted it, it cost me nothing but responsibility that comes with improving myself. I know I'm getting better every day, and my life is getting better every day. That's why I changed the name of my blog from "The Life of a Man Who Knows Better" to Better Every Day.
I know my life will get better every day and I'm putting it out to the universe (and praying for it).
Well, let me tell you about last weekend.
I went to work at my friend's tanning salon so that he could care for his b/f who is recovering from pneumonia. I was grouchy because I was REALLY tired. It ended up going very quickly and I hung out with said friend earlier. We went to Applebee's and then the Spur Lounge with Kevin (who was a nurse at the hospital where Gary's partner was when he had pneumonia). Surprisingly enough, they karaoke guy had Scissor Sisters songs on his playlist. Now let me tell you why this was a surprise. This Spur Lounge is on 55th Ave and Baseline in Laveen, AZ. This was a small farming community that was founded by mormons in the early 20th century. It's now grown to look more like a suburb of Phoenix. Anyway, we had a good time and I got some good applause for my rendition of "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'"

This girl came up to me and told me I had a great voice and then asked if I was gay. I asked what that had to do with it. Then she kind of felt bad, then I felt bad for saying it because she was buzzin'. Anyway, we had a good time and I later did "Laura" and then we left to watch Adam and Steve (which I've seen with Gary WAAAAAAY too many times).
Next day was the Storm car wash and we raised about $400. Not bad for washing a few cars on Saturday.

Happy Monday!